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Sighing, Devin put away another pale blue onesie and put both hands to her back to rub at the raw agony there. Digging her fingers deep at the large knots, she let her head hang forward to concentrate on teasing out the pain.
“Why don’t you take a break,” Rey said from the doorway, more command than question.
“Okay.” Devin turned towards him, shuffling her way past to head to the kitchen. The wall clock in the nursery bedecked with suns, moons, and stars proclaimed it was noon. Rey would make her eat now, then a nap.
The days were routine, if drab and miserable.
Rey sighed as she led the way. Weary and dissatisfied as always. Devin didn’t know what else to do other than to offer her compliance. She did everything he asked of her, trying to appease him. All for nothing. He was still frustrated with her.
If he wanted her eager and excited for the child, there was nothing she could do about that. She’d tried to feign interest at first, but it felt wrong and too much like a lie on her lips.
She waddled to the table, sinking into the chair with a stifled groan as her back tried to seize, sending a bolt of urgent fury down through her hips. The pain wrapped around her middle, spreading over her stomach until she curled over it. Gasping for every breath as it ripped through her, Devin gripped the edge of the table with white knuckles.
“What’s wrong?” Rey was beside her in a second, kneeling next to the chair as his hands hovered over her. Uncertain where to touch for fear of causing further distress.
“It’s fine. My back,” Devin ground out between clenched teeth as the pain gripped her for long minutes before slowly abating. She took one cautious breath, waiting for it to return with a vengeance, and then another when it failed to. Giving Rey a slow nod, her lips twitched in a placating smile. “I’m fine.”
Four more months of this. The pain, the constant sense of letting Rey down every day. Of feeling like she was broken and wrong. Not deserving a single moment this child’s father spent with her.
With considerable effort, she dragged her thoughts front and center. If she just focused on each step, refusing to get lost in her sadness, she wouldn’t start crying. Again.
Rey settled a plate of cold chicken, buttery mashed potatoes, and green beans in front of her. A fine repast she should be thankful for. It was wood shavings and sludge as she worked to chew the first forkful. Pointedly ignoring the concern wallowing in his deep umber gaze, she made her way through one bite after the next. He purred for her through it all, waylaying any threat of nausea. It hadn’t plagued her for some time, but he didn’t want to chance it.
Yet another thing she didn’t deserve. It was for the baby though. Keeping him whole and safe inside of her body.
“Have you given any thought to what you’d like to name him?”
The question startled her so much she dropped her fork, the utensil ricocheting off the side of her plate to go flying over the tile floor.
Rey couldn’t really expect her to name him. This wasn’t her baby in any way other than she incubated it within her body.
Brows drifting down to shadow his dark eyes, Rey retrieved her fork and set it in the sink, fetching her a new one so she could finish eating. Sitting in the closer chair, the backs of his fingers ghosted over her cheek.
“If not, any names in particular you like the sound of?”
“I… um… What did you want to name him?”
“I’m already giving him a name, sweetheart,” Rey said, the stretch of his lips strange in their sadness as he pulled his hand away.
“I don’t know,” Devin mumbled to her plate, dragging her eyes away from his. Pretending her food took all of her concentration as she made her way through what little remained.
She didn’t wait for him once she finished. Devin rose at once, rinsing her plate and putting it in the dishwasher before heading straight back to the bedroom. They didn’t talk beyond the odd comment and orders for her to sleep, eat, bathe. This strange turn in her routine grated her nerves, rubbed her psyche raw as she shucked her sweats off and clambered up onto the bed. Grunting as she got her huge body situated among the drifts of fabric, she curled up around the pillows Rey made her start using and tugged the heavy blankets up to her chin.
“You haven’t thought about it at all,” Rey asked as he came in behind her, undressing with far more care.
“Not really,” Devin admitted into her pillow, clutching it tighter as she waited for the rush of disappointment.
“All right.” Rey crawled in behind her, melding his front along her back until he enveloped her. “How about we start now?”
This wasn’t how her days went. Why was he doing this to her? She didn’t care what he wanted to call the baby. It was his, nots hers. She still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t change his mind and send her away once it was born.
Not that she had any right to remain with him. It was pure selfishness to want to stay close, to drown in his scent until her last breath.
“What do you think of… Tyler?”
“It’s nice.”
“Colin?”
