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It had been a little more than three weeks since my heat ended, and I was still trying to adjust to my new normal.
A normal where every alpha I passed seemed to watch me the way a hungry dog looked at a steak.
It had gotten so bad I’d stopped taking the bus to and from work, driving myself instead since Michael didn’t need the car yet for school. Summer was ending though, and I’d have to get over the nerves soon.
“Okay.”
It was hard to force the word out, and all I managed was a whisper. I kept my head where it was on his chest so I didn’t have to meet his eyes and reveal how much I wanted to say no. It was still hard to move away from the mentality that this was only temporary.
A purr stirred to life beneath my cheek as he ran his fingers down my spine, making me squirm as my core throbbed despite the orgasms he’d already given me. We were still tangled in his sheets and I’d been trying to find the energy to go shower, but I hadn’t been able to shake the exhaustion chasing me since my heat.
I’d also been ridiculously horny the past few weeks, to the point where we’d started meeting here instead of the club since Leo was struggling with his instincts over me as well. Some nights we spent the whole time tangled together, although we’d also cuddled and watched movies after fucking a few times as well. It felt good to lay around with him doing nothing, and I was growing more frustrated by my lack of courage to tell my brother the truth so I could have more time with Leo.
But then there was the guilt too, making me feel like a horrible person for making my brother be the responsible one stuck at home while I got to go out five nights a week and do what I want.
“Thank you. They’ll be happy to see you again.”
My heart broke a little more, and I had to roll away before tears puddled on his chest and gave away my mixed emotions. I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been anything close to unfeeling, but lately it seemed like my mood was on a swing in a hurricane, going from one side to the other and circling around into a twisted mess.
I took a breath and tried to push it all away as I stood and headed for the bathroom. I heard Leo following me, but he was good at giving me time to process, and I had control of myself by the time we stepped into the shower.
***
The office was so busy the next day I didn’t have time to stress about dinner with Leo’s mother and sister until I was on the way home. Even then, I was able to use Friday afternoon traffic to keep myself distracted until I was alone in my closet, staring at my clothes and trying to figure out if I had anything to wear. My first impression with Leo’s family hadn’t been great, and I wanted to make sure everything went right this time.
My stomach gurgled and I placed a hand over it, grimacing. I’d been having bouts of nausea for a few days, but I figured it was some carryover from my heat. Plus, it wouldn’t be the first time nerves had given me indigestion, so I wasn’t too worried about it. Eating would probably help. I’d only gotten a few bites of my lunch since the phones seemed to ring again every time I hung up, and I was looking forward to eating with Michael and Momma before leaving, despite knowing I’d have to eat again with Leo’s family.
It hit me that eight seemed pretty late for dinner, a fresh wave of guilt over making them wait for me adding to the crappy way I felt. It would be about six-thirty when I got to Leo’s penthouse, but I’d have to change into whatever I was going to wear to see them before we could leave. His parents’ house wasn’t too far from his, and I should have told him we could have dinner earlier.
I popped some Tums in my mouth, chewing on them as I debated calling him to change the time, but it was probably too late. Everything would already be arranged to eat at eight and changing it now would only cause them more of an inconvenience.
I sniffled but refused to cry again. I’d already broken down in the bathroom at work when I got overwhelmed, and I didn’t have time to breakdown again and fix my makeup before my own family was ready for dinner.
Giving up, I snatched a simple black skirt off the hanger and stuffed it into my purse. I knew I had tops at Leo’s that would be fine to wear, but the skirts and dresses he’d bought me weren’t long enough for me to feel comfortable around the beautiful women he was related to.
My head swam with feelings of inadequacy, warring with anger at myself for feeling guilty and inadequate. Leo had told me often enough that I worried too much over little things, and I knew he was right, but it was hard to change habits, even when you wanted to.
I slipped out of the slacks and blouse I’d worn to the office, pulling on jeans and a simple shirt I’d worn to Frankie’s a hundred times. The constant changing just to keep up my lies was exhausting me even more, and I was beginning to wonder how much attention my brother really paid to my clothes. If I could leave in whatever I was already in and only have to change for the club, it would save me some energy.
I wasn’t willing to try it just yet though. I’d been trying to come up with a way to tell Michael the house and Momma’s medical bills were paid off, and that I’d quit Frankie’s, but I hadn’t been able to come up with anything that wouldn’t invite a load of questions I didn’t want him asking.
Like where I was going every night if it wasn’t to Frankie’s.
Or who it was I was seeing that had the money to pay off that much debt.
Sighing, I headed downstairs, hoping whatever we were having for dinner would help settle my stomach.
***
“Everything okay?”
I forced a tired smile as Leo’s arms wrapped around me when I stepped out of the elevator. The scent of him settled my nerves and soothed the queasiness, making smiling easier than it had been with Michael and Momma.
“Yeah, just a bit tired. Plus the nerves.”
He rumbled a quiet purr as he brushed his lips over mine.
“You don’t have to worry about anything with Eleni and my mother. They love you.”
