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Nathan, Cody and Corvin sit on one couch while, Katie, Saint and Crue sit on the bean bags. Darius and Leah sit on the other couch. Darius lifts Leah onto his lap to make room for us. I drop into the middle seat while Valance awkwardly takes the end seat, keeping her gaze on her lap. I let my gaze trail over her. She stills wears the same leggings and Ugg boots from earlier but she now wears an oversized hoodie that engulfs her frame, her auburn hair tied into a messy bun atop her head, her cheeks stained with her tears. The silence continues to stretch until Leah growls loudly and shifts off Darius’s lap and moves so she is perched on my leg that is closest to Valance who snaps her gaze up to Leah in surprise.
“Corv filled us in on what happened,” she says as she grabs Val’s hands in hers and smiles kindly. “I am so sorry that this has happened to you, Val. You must have been so scared.” Valance’s bottom lip begins to tremble as her eyes fill with tears. Leah drops her hands and wraps her arms around her in a hug. Valance buries her face against Leah and cries. It’s taking everything inside me not to break shit and unleash my anger, I want to find this cunt and kill him.
“She can’t go back there,” Corvin says, drawing my attention to him. I nod my agreement.
“I…” Valance starts as she and Leah break apart, then takes a deep breath before continuing. “The school won’t allow me into a dorm because I have a kid and I… I can’t afford to move.” I hear the shame that laces each of her words and it fucking pisses me off. She’ll never have to worry about money again!
“Fuck the money!” Saint snaps, drawing her gaze to his. His eyes shine with a protectiveness I have only ever seen in his eyes once when Garrett tried to gay shame Crue. “You’re the mother to my nephew and that makes you family, Valance.” The authoritative tone of his voice has both Crue and Katie staring at him.
“I… wow… thank you?” she mumbles out.
“Don’t thank us, that’s what family does,” Saint says. Valance snorts and quickly smacks a hand over her mouth as her eyes widen.
“I’m sorry,” she says as she drops her hand. “I just, I wouldn’t know what a caring family is like.” She cuts a glance at me as she continues. “My family liked to leave scars, not help each other.” I turn away unable to look at her. The others gasp and frown, some catching onto what she is saying while the others don’t grasp it. “My dad liked to beat me, his way of showing love was leaving scars on me.” I slam my eyes closed as memories of the scars on her back slam into me—the cunt used to use the buckle end of his belt on her.
“I hope the fucker dies painfully!” Crue snaps.
“I hope he dies slowly!” Darius mutters.
“He died screaming,” I add as I feel all of their gazes on me but I don’t meet any of theirs as I slowly turn back to look at Valance. Her eyes are vacant as if she is lost in a memory. I hate that I can read her so easily, Leah distracts me from staring at her when she shifts on my lap and smiles lovingly at me. Leah is the only one who sees through the walls I have around me, not even the guys see me the way she does. The girl didn’t let me keep her at arm’s length after the night we shared together. Sleeping with her brought us closer but on a totally different level than her and Darius.
“Why do I feel like that wasn’t a joke?” Crue asks. Leah searches my eyes, and without me having to say a word she sees the answer in my eyes.
“Darius told me you alluded to covering up a…crime, but then that means…”
I hold her gaze as I say, “Just speak your mind, babe.” I feel Valance staring at us, judging us and how close we are.
“You weren’t joking when you said you had covered up a murder before. You covered up Valance’s dad’s murder because… you killed him.” Sharp intakes of air can be heard from the others, my focus remains on Leah.
“I told you before, babe, I’m not a good guy and I meant it.” She purses her lips, grips my face between her hands and stares deep into my eyes.
“Bullshit!” The venom that laces her tone has my eyes widening. “You listen to me, Beckett Dawson. You are one of the best fucking guys that I know and I won’t have you thinking otherwise. When everything went to shit with me and Darius,youwere there for me. I love you, we all love you and we’re all here for you, Becky.” She shifts her hands and wraps her arms around my neck. I return her embrace and hold her close. This girl brought me out of hiding, she made me feel again and for that, I will forever be grateful to her.
“Well, I’ve never felt like more of a third wheel in my life.” Leah chuckles and reclaims her place on Darius’s lap. He wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “The tension between you three…” Nathan begins to fan himself. Grinding my teeth, I shoot him a glare. The fucker has no sense of self-preservation and winks at me. Darius growls low in his chest and shoots Nathan a warning look.
“Can we get back on track here?” Corvin asks with an edge of annoyance in his tone. Cody shifts and places a hand on his thigh to try to calm him. He tenses at her touch but masks it quickly, unlucky for him though because Cody notices and withdraws her hand with a sullen look on her face. “We’re way past the point of keeping shit buried.” He cringes. “Pun not intended,” he rushes to say while shooting Val a remorseful look.
“It's okay,” she says quietly from beside me. “Look, I don’t know what any of that has to do with what is happening now, and it won’t change the past or present. It’s just better to leave it there and move on.”
I take a deep breath to calm myself, while grinding my teeth to keep from lashing out at her. She is so easy to forgive and dismiss what Corvin says, which is dumb, but the night I try to protect her, she sides against me and tosses me away. I did what I did that night to protect her. Did I mean to kill him? No. Am I sorry that I did? Fuck no! He was a piece of shit and the thought of that useless cunt being around my son or having anything to do with him–fuck. I turn to Valance with wide eyes, she reels back when she sees the look on my face.
“That night…you were pregnant.” It’s not a question. She bites her lip and nods. “Motherfucker!” I roar. I jump to my feet and pace the living room trying to gather my thoughts and calm myself.
“What night? What happened?” Saint asks.
“What difference would it have made?” I stop my pacing and turn to face her, the fact she sits there looking at me with loathing in her gaze has an inferno of hate being inside me. “You still would have fucking killed him!” I move toward her and Valance rises to her feet. I don’t stop until we are chest to chin. She cranes her neck back to hold my gaze.
“Ask me,” I snarl.
“What?” Confusion is clear in her tone.
“Ask me if I regret it.” Her eyes narrow to slits.
“What’s the fucking point? I can see it in your eyes that you don’t. You forget I know you, Beckett, probably better than all of your friends. Question is, do they know therealBeckett Dawson or just the version of you that you let them see?” She doesn’t see it coming until it’s too late, my hand is around her throat and I shove her down onto the couch, getting right in her face. The others crowd around, shouting at me to let her go. Ignoring them, I hold her gaze. I see the challenge in the depths of her blue eyes.
“You don’t fucking know me!” I grit out through clenched teeth, the bitch has the audacity to smile.
“Oh, but I do. I mean, look at you now, Beck. You claim to have murdered my father for laying hands on me and yet, here you are with your hand around my throat threatening me.” I recoil as if she burnt me. She shoots me a smug look as I stare down at her perplexed, am I like him?
