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"I'm glad you like it. Hopefully, the customers will too." I wink.
By the time I look at my watch, it's close to three o'clock. We have been bombarded by customers non-stop. It's been crazy enough that no one has had a chance to eat. The boutique looks like a tornado hit. I start picking up shoe boxes. But then I feel dizzy and drop them.
"Are you ok? Sit down." Maddie tells me.
"Yes, just a little dizzy."
"It's probably because you haven't eaten."
"Yes, that must be it," I say, but I'm sure that is only half true. But I'm not ready to tell Maddie or anyone for that matter that I am pregnant.
"Tell you what, go take a break. The diner down the street is great."
"That sounds perfect."
"Good. See you in a half-hour."
I get my bag and set out to the diner. The weather is cool. Just what I need. I get my AirPods ready to drown my brain with music. I take my phone, ready to selectSia & Similar Artist Station.But somehow, I end up looking through old texts from Viktor. I don’t know why I do this to myself.As much as I want to hate him, it makes me feel good to see them.It is probably stupid, and I am torturing myself, but I can’t help it. I go to the last text he sent me before I changed my number.
Viktor: I miss the lavender scent you leave behind every time you entered a room. Come home.
I stare at the text longer than I should. The words are simple, yet the implication isn’t. We don't have the home we once did. At least not anymore. His house stopped being my home the second I learned he slept with Fiona. I'm not even including the baby she is expecting. I wanted to respond just that a part of me still does. But I won't. I chose to move on. It doesn't matter what he wants or what I want. The cards have been dealt.
But just like him, I find myself missing the scent of his skin and the feel of his lips exploring my body. A tear escapes me. My love for him runs deep. He is seared in my soul. I don't want to be without him. But it’s too late. Viktor sleeping with Fiona changed everything. It changed me. After Nathan I swore to myself never to be with a man who cheats.
I can’t help but wonder why it happened? I wish I knew the reason why he slept with her. What does she have that I can’t give him? Did he realize he loved her more than his love for me? I have to admit if I had given him the chance he could have answered my questions. But it was too hard to talk to him and now it’s too late. I can't allow my heartache to consume me. If I want to move forward, I need to forget about Viktor. I have to think of my baby.
I turn the volume of the phone up and press play.Destinyby Sis starts. How fitting. But I won't do it to myself. Instead, I search for Kelly Clarkson,Stronger (What doesn't kill you).What is it they say? Fake it until you make it. That will be my new motto.
Chapter Nine
Viktor
I'm staring at the ceiling, wondering how the fuck I can fix this. Time is passing, and I'm not any closer to finding Ava. Fiona is driving me crazy. Every day is a new argument, and at night she tries to get in my bed. The clan is falling apart. Fights are becoming more frequent, and my father doesn't care. The only thing he cares about is money. It doesn't matter how many reports I give him about what is happening. They fall on death's ears. Worst of all, he is being seen with Cillian all around the city frequently.
I need a minute of peace. I have to clear my head from the white noise. Not having Ava beside me has created a black hole. I am out of sync. She is the only one who can bring calm in the chaos. Her absence has me feeling lost. Like there is a part of me that is missing and it’s frustrating.
I look at the time, and it's not even five in the morning. These days I'm lucky if I get four hours of sleep. I've developed a routine since she has been gone. I hit the gym hard. The pain of working out helps me turn off my brain. I am about to start another set of bicep curls when my phone rings. The screen reads Oliver.
“Where are you?” He greets me before I speak.
“The gym.”
“I'll be there in a minute.” He ends the call before I can question him. I walk over to get a towel and my bottled water. "Good morning," I greet as he enters.
"It's not going to be good when I give you the news I have." In an instant, I am on high alert. My first thought is Ava. Something must have happened to her.
"Is Ava ok?"
"This is not about her." I let out a breath.
"What is it then?"
"We have our first casualty.” As he says it, I feel my frustration growing. I knew it was coming.
“Fuck.”
"I know.”
