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I leave the bedroom and go to each of the kids’bedrooms. I peek to check in on them both, even with Brenda telling me Aisling is sleeping. Once I confirm they are asleep I make my way downstairs to the kitchen, where Mary should be putting the final touches to lunch.
“Anita, I didn’t know you were here.” I walk into the kitchen and give her a hug.
“I just got here,” she smiles.
“You should have come or had someone get me.”
“You are here now. Nothing to fuss about. How are my grandchildren?”
“Luckily, sleeping right now. But it won’t be long before one of them wakes. I swear they take turns making sure I am always busy.” We laugh.
“I remember those days. Long days and nights.”
“How are things?” I ask Anita.
“Ms. O’Brien, would you like some lemonade?” Mary asks.
“That will be great, Mary,” I say, sitting down at the breakfast table.
“Nothing new. I’ve been thinking of redoing the dining room.” Anita says.
“That sounds fun. Here, I’m just trying to get through the day.” She laughs.
“Do you need some help? Are the nannies not working out?” She asks more seriously, concern written all over her face.
“They are fine. But I just can’t explain it. It’s like I want to make sure the kids are good myself. I think I’m crazy.”
“Not at all. It’s normal for a new mother to think only she knows what is best for her child. But you don’t want to burn yourself out. You need to let them help you.”
“I know. I can’t help it. They are my world.” Mary sets a glass in front of me.
“Ava,” Anita starts.
“Yes?”
“I want to thank you for taking care of and loving Aisling like she is yours. I can’t imagine it being easy with her being Fiona’s daughter. You are an amazing woman.” She squeezes my hand.
“But it is easy. She is an amazing little girl. I can’t imagine my life without her. It’s like she is as much mine as Niko. I could care less that Fiona is her mother.”
“It’s wonderful. Viktor is lucky to have found you. I don’t know many women who would do what you are doing.” I smile and don’t say anything. As much as I love Viktor, I can’t allow myself to let him in. For my sake, I can’t think of a life with him.
“Is Tina still joining us?” I ask, changing the subject.
“I believe so.” Anita answers, I’m sure, knowing I don’t want to talk about Viktor anymore. In fact, it is hard talking about him. Because every time I do, I have to face the truth that Viktor and I can’t ever be more than just co-parents. It is hard knowing that there are still too many obstacles standing in our way.
?
It’s been a few hours with Tina, Anita and me chatting away. I excused myself to feed the kids as they are planning a little get together for later this week. They want to have some of the Manarch family come over to meet Niko. I’m not too keen on it. I’m not sure I want any Manarchs to be part of Niko’s life besides the immediate family. I was going to object, but I am sure Viktor will once he finds out about their plans. I finally put Aisling down and make my way downstairs with both baby monitors. It makes me realize this house isn’t set up for babies. This going up and down the stairs isn’t productive at all and is exhausting. I go to the living room where Anita and Tina are talking.
“Finally, it took you long enough,” Tina says.
“You realize I have two babies.” I startle myself with the confession.“Sorry, didn’t mean to say it like that. You know what I mean.” I say, a little embarrassed while Anita smiles lovingly.“What are you both talking about?” I quickly change the subject.
“We were talking about you having to go up and down the stairs for the kids,” Tina answers.
“Actually, I was just thinking the same when I was coming downstairs.” I sit.“This house isn’t exactly designed for my needs. Not with two babies, at least.”
“You can change that,” Anita says.
