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Quickly, I finish washing my hands, splashing some water on my face and trying to pep-talk myself into not looking at Holden when I leave. I don’t want to seem like a desperate puppy dog, eager for his attention.
I know that whatever happened between us won’t happen again, that Devon warned me away for a reason. I don’t want to be laughed at, or pitied.
And yet still, when I exit the bathroom and run directly into Holden, my heart stutters in my chest.
“Hiya,” I say and then feel my cheeks heat again, the water I’d splashed on it evaporating immediately.
“Hi,” he says with a smirk, and I know that he’s teasing me. Fuck, I made it too easy.
I avert my gaze and move past him, but his hand shoots out, and he stops me.
“When you’re off work, stop by the bar. I’ll buy you a drink.”
My eyes land on his hand encircling my arm and then flick up to his eyes.
“As a thank-you for yesterday,” he adds, and I roll my lips between my teeth.
“I…probably won’t show up,” I tell him, feeling like I’m telling a lie and that he’s going to catch me in it.
“Up to you, but you know, it can get so boring out here. Maybe you’ll decide to show up anyways.”
He squeezes my arm lightly, and I pull out of his grasp, feeling those eyes on me as I walk away.
Yeah, I won’t show up. I’ll totally have other plans.
* * *
I have zero plans.I’m twitching in my room after a long day of work. I even went on a walk, sticking close to the shore so as not to get lost.
I met a fucking monkey too. He stared at me from the trees, and I nearly pissed myself. But he didn’t come down out of the tree to attack me. No, he just watched me with his piercing, eerie eyes—gave me full-body shivers.
I’m not a fan of the zoo. My parents would drag me there every once in a while and I hated it. All those spooky animals. I prefer cows and chickens, and even llamas with their long demon necks to this shit.
I press my face into my hands, breathing deeply.
I am not going to the bar to let Holden buy me a drink. There is no fucking way.
And yet, that’s exactly where my legs carry me, even though I know better. I so know better.
It will probably be packed anyways. I could probably just go in there totally unnoticed.
But as soon as I walk down the pier and step onto the deck of the bar, I realize that not only is it not as packed as I expected it to be—the bars in South Dakota are always so crowded and rowdy—but I’m bigger than half the people in here and dressed not nearly as nice. I stand out…like a flashing blue light at midnight.
Holden sees me almost immediately, his lips turning up at the corners like we’re sharing some kind of secret. Which we are. We so are.
I had sex with him.
He knows it. I know it.
The monkey may know it, if he saw.
Oh god, did the monkey see? Is that why he was staring at me from the tree? He was eating a banana. Maybe he was remembering my dick. The way he was eating itwasa little sexual.
Enough. Be cool, Chase. Don’t be a fucking fool.
I move toward Holden, feeling clumsy and awkward. At least I smell good, having taken a shower after work. Not in preparation for this but because Devon put me to work today. I felt like I was back on the farm, slinging hay and fixing fences, and I sweat like a pig even when it’s not hot as Hades outside.
“You came,” he says, and the way he says those words make my cheeks heat. Because yes, yes I did. In his ass.
