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I should ask. For emergencies.
Didn’t Devon give me a handbook? I should look in there…if I can find it.
Oh god, what if the monkey snuck in and stole it? I’m so fucked.
“Uh, sure. I can go for a walk.”
They smile at me, both so friendly and open, which makes me feel a little less nervous. I mean, Polly knows what I’ve been up to since I arrived, and I hope like hell she hasn’t mentioned it to anyone else. I’d like to keep the fact that I’ve fucked Holden private. I don’t want that getting around.
“So where do you, um, work?” I ask the two of them, feeling embarrassed that I don’t know this.
“I work in housekeeping,” Polly says, and Atlas chimes in that he works there as well, cleaning the villas. Both have worked here for a while.
I bob my head, following them down the sand. I bought flip-flops yesterday at the shop on my break and fuck, I’m glad I did. My feet feel so nice and cool in the breeze. My toes feel free. My pops would die seeing me in these. He says they’re gay.
Well, Dad, I had anal with a dude, twice, and I liked it. But sure, it’s theflip-flopsthat make me gay.
What if I wear the flip-flops while fucking Holden again? Does that make me ultra-gay? Do I get bonus points for being gayer than basic gay?
I push that thought away, not needing to deal with my sexual awakening and parental rebellion while walking with two strangers on a beach. I can do that alone in my room with some loud music and my hand down my pants.
“And you work maintenance with Devon?” Atlas asks. “How is it working with the big grump?”
“You know why he’s a grump. It’s not really his fault,” Polly chimes in and then meets my curious stare. “He’s a grump because of unrequited love.”
Atlas rolls his eyes again. He must really like doing that. If I ever rolled my eyes, I would have gotten smacked. Maybe he grew up with parents who just laughed it off.
Flip-flops and rolling eyes. Must have been a nice life.
Polly leans in a little closer to me, her hair tickling my arm. “He’s in love with Molly, one of the women who works as a maid. Apparently, there was this big blow-up between them years ago. They haven’t talked much since. He pines for her big time.”
My eyebrows rise because this sounds suspiciously like small-town gossip. Although this probably is a small town, in its own way. Oh fuck, they’re gonna find out about me and Holden. There’s no way to avoid it. I was worried about this last night, and now I’m worried about it again.
I feel my cheeks heating, and I know it’s not a sunburn. This is me being plain old embarrassed. And it’s made worse when we happen upon Holden and another guy walking down the beach toward us.
I can’t look away. I can’t fucking stop. He looks so damn…good. And flirty.
My chest tightens, and I feel my heart hammer in my chest. Goddamn, it’s warm out here.
“Hey, it’s Holden. Hi, Jett,” Atlas calls out and then lifts his hand in a wave. They see us, obviously. We are the only people out here at the moment. Not like you could miss us. “Think they were fucking?” Atlas snorts, and I feel almost lightheaded.
Polly squeezes my arm lightly in sympathy, and I offer her a small, strained smile. Holden and I were just a mistake, I tell myself. It meant nothing…I mean, it meant something to me because I’ve never been with a dude, so it’s like a first-time deal. You always remember your first time, right? But I know it didn’t mean anything to him.
“Hey, where are you off to?” Jett asks, looking so fucking young. He has windswept brown hair and big brown eyes. He looks like he just got out of high school. To be fair, that’s not his fault, nor is it his fault that I look older than my age. I swear to god, in high school, I looked thirty. When I’d flirt with women, they’d think I was a creeper. I wasn’t. I was just big and could grow a beard at sixteen.
And now that I think of it, I probably shouldn’t have even been bothering with girls at all. Maybe I should have been looking at boys, seeing as I liked fucking Holden.
I liked his ass, probably a bit too much.
“We were just going for a stroll on the beach,” Polly says, her hand still on my arm.
Holden eyes it, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.
Then his eyes flash to mine, and I meet his stare. Polly seems to read the situation because she steps a little closer to me, and I’m not sure whether to thank her or tell her to never do that again.
But the way Holden is cocking his head and examining me, I think I’m glad she’s staking some sort of false claim. I don’t want to look like a loser in front of him and this guy, Jett.
“So, you guys still on for tonight?” Jett asks, and my brows meet. What’s tonight?
