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“Actually, I was making sure she wasn’t just going to ‘fix us’ and leave,” Sanford interjects, making air quotes.“Which she admitted to considering.”
“That’s not true.It crossed my mind for a few seconds, but I’m staying,” I say defensively.
“I want you here because you see a future with us, not out of obligation,” Greyson says, his voice carrying a soft plea.
Taking a few deliberate steps, I close the gap between us until I’m right in front of him.My arms wrap themselves around his neck instinctively, drawing him closer, while my heart thunders in my chest.I capture his lips in a kiss, tasting the sweet sincerity of my soft-spoken, kindhearted Grey who needs to learn to trust in himself, to believe that I’m staying because I love him and I would do anything for him.
Our lips move together in an intimate dance that only we know.My heart echoes a silent confession: I might not fully know him, but my heart does.It understands all the complexities that make us who we are.
He was right when he told me that I know who he became while we were in that room being tortured, breaking our minds and bodies.There’s an inherited understanding, a connection that binds us before and after.Every beat of my heart recognizes him—loves him.
And that’s why I believe he has doubts.
“Do you see yourself next to us?”I ask him when we pull apart, looking straight into his eyes, seeking an honest response.
“I’m working on that.It’s hard to let myself be happy when I hate myself so much,” he whispers.
I squeeze his hand, and I think there are some traumas he’s not tackling with his counselor.I’m not sure, but I’ve dealt with many people like him.Sometimes we need an entire team to help find the light.
“Listen, you’re already seeing a therapist, which is great.But how about considering a few alternatives?A fresh perspective might help,” I suggest.
Greyson contemplates my suggestion for a moment before nodding.“I’m open to the possibility of changing or adding therapists.”
Sanford interjects then.“Can you help me look for one?”
“Absolutely.I can help with that.And maybe we should look for a couple’s therapist, too.It might benefit us,” I respond, already making mental notes.
Sanford smirks, mischief dancing in his eyes.“You know what else is good therapy?Sex.”
I turn to him, my brows furrowing with a frown.“So, what Lang said, is it true?You need sex before a mission.”
Greyson scoffs from beside me, his amusement evident.
Confused, I look at him.“Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shrugs, his eyes twinkling with humor.“You should know better than to believe Lang’s nonsense.”
“So, you don’t need sex before a mission?”I glance at Sanford for confirmation.
“You, of all people, should know that Sanford needs sex: All.The.Time,” Greyson interjects with a hint of humor in his voice.
My cheeks heat up because I do know that both men have an insatiable appetite.Since we’ve always been open about our needs, I have to ask, “So how have you guys managed all these years?Have you been with others?”
As I ask, I cross my arms over my chest, an unconscious attempt to shield myself from any potential pang of jealousy.“Or have you been sleeping around?There’s no judgment in that.After all, you’re both single.”
Sanford’s face morphs into a frustrated frown.“Didn’t I mention earlier our continuous angry fucking?”He shakes his head, exasperated.“We might not have been on speaking terms, but we’ve always been committed to one another.”
Greyson groans, the sound coming out like a wounded animal.“You told her about that?Fuck, Sanford, are you serious?You might as well tell her about the time you found me nearly dead in an alley.Do you really think I want her to know all my dark secrets on day one?She’s going to leave us—or at least me.”
My eyes stretch wide at his words, and my breath hitches.Dead?I rapidly blink, reassuring myself that he’s here, he’s alive, and he’s working on his recovery.Also, I’m here to help him if he struggles.
Sanford lets out a sigh, his gaze distant.“It was a year after we rescued you guys,” he explains.“Grey disappeared, and we had to search everywhere.I found him just in time.After that, he spent a good half a year in a rehabilitation center.”
“Not that it was an immediate cure, but it did make me aware of the people I was hurting,” Greyson admits, sounding remorseful.“It took multiple rounds of rehab before I could find the right support system to help me control the cravings.”
“It’s good he’s here,” I blurt out, soothing myself.Both men look at me with bewildered expressions.Shaking my head, I clarify, “Sorry, sometimes I talk out loud.”
Sanford, who’s leaning against the wall, raises an eyebrow.“What is good?”
