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She hadn’t chosen to get abused by him all those years.
“Sina wanted to save the baby, but I stopped her,” I whispered, swallowing hard and glancing down at my feet. I didn’t want Hellana to know that I was lying to her. I wanted—needed—to protect Sina at all costs. “We were outnumbered, and I—”
“Stop it, Darius,” Sina cried, looking up at Hellana. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine.” She curled up into a ball in the middle of the floor. “It is all my fault. I could’ve stopped this. I could’ve stopped this, and I didn’t. Your baby is gone because of me.”
83
the girls
sina
I lay alonein Calder’s bed with the door locked and the blankets piled on top of me. It had been seven hours since Hellana had left, and I refused to leave this room. Calder was in my bed, Darius downstairs.
My entire body ached, not only with pain from letting my father leave with the baby and the girl, but also with the agony of what he had done to me. It was like I had relived my entire life over again when I saw him.
Paralyzation. Fear. Rape.
It stung me so fucking deep.
When I squeezed my eyes closed, I faced all those tortuous memories. When I opened them back up, I saw the pain in Hellana’s eyes after I told her we couldn’t save the baby. It was constant torment that I’d never push away.
Someone knocked on the door. I sank further down in the bed and pulled the blankets over my head, sobbing into them. I hated myself. I could’ve been strong; I could’ve saved them. Instead, I was still just a weak human. All of my guys would be so disappointed.
“Sina!” Darius called. “Open up.”
“Go away,” I cried. “Please, I want to be alone.”
After a few quiet moments, the door was nearly blasted open. I tore the blankets off my head to see Xorgor standing next to Darius and Maxine. She rushed over to me and crawled into the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Sina,” she whispered, taking me into her arms. “Why didn’t you tell me what happened with your father? If I had known, I would’ve done something more than just … than just … help you return to Durnbone.”
I rested my head on her shoulder and looked over at Darius. He mouthed an apology to me for telling her all my secrets, but I closed my eyes and enjoyed my friend’s warmth. He had nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, I was glad that he had told her because I wouldn’t have been able to.
Hell, I had been back for weeks now, and I’d barely told my guys.
Not because I hadn’t wanted to—maybe that was how I’d felt at first—but mainly because it brought back so many bad memories. I had suppressed them and pretended that they didn’t exist, but seeing that monster today … had made me feel even worse than when I had been with him.
“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve done more.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered, hiccuping. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
“Stop blaming yourself,” Darius said softly.
“How can I?”
“Because this isn’t your fault,” Maxine said, voice breaking. “You didn’t ask to be abused. You didn’t ask to be … to be taken advantage of. You didn’t ask to be paralyzed and used for your father’s sick experiments. We’re going to fix this.”
“How?” I asked, harsher than I’d meant to. “The only person who can fix this is me.”
“That’s not true,” Xorgor said, leaning against the doorframe, next to Darius. “As of last night, Jaroth has been declared missing by the demon people.”
“Don’t worry about him,” Calder called from the next room. “He’s dead.”
“What do you mean, he’s dead?” Xorgor asked.
I swallowed hard and sat up taller in the bed, still holding on to Maxine tightly. “He snuck onto our property the other day, paralyzed Calder, and—”
“He fucking paralyzed Calder?” Xorgor growled, rushing out of the room and to my bedroom, where Calder had been lying for the past few days now. After a string of curses, Xorgor returned to the bedroom. “Do I even want to know how?”
