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“I don’t want to hide anymore. I love you, Blue. I know you’re the one for me.” I stepped closer and cupped her face in my palms. “I want to wake up beside you every morning. I want you to be there when I come home frustrated after a long day at work, because you make me forget, you make me feel better just by breathing the same air. You make me happy. Every smile or laugh I manage to elicit from you makes me happy.
“Every time your beautiful eyes go dark with worry I’m physically sick, and I’d move mountains to make them shine again. There is no doubt in my mind that we belong together, so why not be together?” I seized her lips, gently savoring the taste of her. Her shivers squeezed at my stomach.
With my mouth still on hers, I continued. “Blue, baby, you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last whisper before I fall asleep.” My heart was racing, faster than was healthy, for sure. I stepped back to regain control. Fat chance.
“Goddammit, you’re the only subject of my dreams.” My throat was coarse from shouting, but I was past any self-awareness. “Every single day you kill me and mend me back to life. That’s how it feels. Like you’re my poison and my antidote at the same time. You’re it for me, Blue. However unreasonable, whatever the timing, regardless of the circumstances, you’re it for me.”
A loud sob broke through the midnight air. Blue’s tear-stricken face was the most painful thing I’d ever seen, so I closed my eyes, still hoping my fucking stubbornness hadn’t just killed our love. I pushed and pushed, and all I achieved was breaking two hearts at the same time.
The gravel crunching pulled at my heart. I was afraid to open my eyes. I couldn’t watch her retreat. I couldn’t watch the damage I’d caused. Every groan of the tiny pebbles pierced my heart with definitive sadness.
I’d always been partial to drama—the whole family was—but right now, without exaggeration, I knew I was on the edge of irrevocable suffering. I lost my father when I was younger, so the emptiness seeping into my heart felt too fucking familiar.
Until, just barely through the thumping in my temples, I felt more than heard footsteps crunching toward me. I opened my eyes at the same time as two hands wrapped around my neck and I was drowned in the smell of the summer’s meadow I adored so much. Blue crushed her lips against mine and I stumbled, shocked by the attack.
Oh, but I’d take this attack any time. Her tongue thrust in and we danced with our mouths in a desperate choreography that screamed of our mutual hurt, frustration and passion.
“Damn you, Massi,” she breathed, and I lost any awareness of time or space. Her voice, her sweet lips, her resilience and her love were more than I ever deserved.
I rushed my hands down her back, marveling at the feel of her against me. I cupped her round, perfect ass and lifted her.
She wrapped her legs around my waist without breaking the kiss. We staggered around like a pair of drunks. Blinded by our kiss but fueled by the desire to reach a destination, I stomped around to find a surface, any surface, to free my hands. Yet afraid to lose the contact.
Blue yelped as her back hit something. I ground my hips, something coarse chafing the top of my hand. I pushed harder against her, freeing my arm. However, we got there, Blue was pinned against a tree, warm and eager in my embrace.
I found the hem of her shirt quickly. As soon as my palm connected with the silky skin of her ribcage, my cock rose painfully inside my jeans.
I brushed the swell of her breast and we broke the kiss, both of us needing air and moaning at the same time. It was too dark, but somehow her eyes shone through, penetrating every cell in my body. This woman would be the death of me, and I’d be not only willing, but an eager participant.
“Massi,” she whispered.
“I love you, Blue.” I squeezed the hard bud under the lace of her bra and she sighed, tightening her hold on me in more ways than just the physical.
Her long fingers traced my back as she ground her hips against me. We needed to find a shelter, or at least a fucking shadow right now.
I dropped her down but held her close, afraid to break the spell. She grabbed my collar and yanked me to her, her mouth capturing mine again. Her teeth grazed hungrily over my lips.
“Ask me, Massi,” she whispered.
I froze, at first seeking comprehension, but then afraid I understood what she was asking. Or misunderstood.God help me.
I searched her face. Washed by tears, but so resolute. Like someone who was ready to tackle the world. At my side.
She nodded and smiled. “Ask me, my love.”
Fuck me. I held her so tight I could crack her rib, but I would not let go ever again. I cleared my throat, my gaze buried in the ocean of her eyes. “Will you marry me?”
I didn’t think my words were audible because the emotions overwhelmed my ability to speak. But they must have been because Blue nodded frantically, and then came as close as possible to waking up the entire neighborhood when she screamed at the top of her lungs.
“Yes!”
I silenced her with my mouth, our joy and passion immediately clouding any sense of responsibility or propriety. Somehow I moved us to a bench and Blue straddled me. We fumbled with our zippers and buttons.
There was nothing sensual or gracious about it, just two hungry people chasing release. No finesse. No patience. No foreplay. Just a raw confirmation of the commitment we’d just made.
I plunged into her and Blue whimpered or moaned or whatever the sound was, but it was the most beautiful sound. We struggled to find the rhythm, our lovemaking still very new, but we got there quickly.
We moved in unison, aware of the surroundings and unaware of them at the same time. She sank her teeth into my shoulder to muffle the sounds I loved to hear so much.
