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“Really?” Sebastien looks back, as if assessing the path to the kitchen.
Massi gives him a lopsided smile and nods. My son glances at me, but then he remembers he’s mad at me. After a beat of hesitation, he pushes his chair back.
“Cool.” He smiles at his father.
ChapterTwenty-Four
Gina
“They’ll both come around.” Mila pushes the bowl of uneaten soup away.
I keep watching the swinging door. The sight of my son and his father disappearing there lingers heavily in my stomach. It’s a mixture of pride and jealousy, relief and fear, awe and disbelief. Love and, well… love. The conflicting emotions spread through my veins, lacing my nerves with poison.
I feel lonely, discarded, abandoned. And I know I led myself down this path, which only makes me feel more desperate.
“Do you think they will make a burger for me?” I look at Mila, begging her to nod in agreement.
I return my focus to the kitchen door. I don’t even like burgers, but somehow getting one now is paramount. As if my entire future, my relationship with my child and with Massi, is dependent on this one thing. Them making a burger for me. Them walking through that door and sharing a meal with me.
A meal they prepared together. Seb practically grew up in Frederick’s restaurant before I started my own business, when I finally found the courage and clarity to save myself from that marriage. But for his first ten years, the restaurant was his home. He knows more about the business than any kid his age.
And he would have known more if Frederick cared. He was always distant with him, and I wondered over the years why he had offered to marry me and be his stepfather. He marveled in the fact that Massi didn’t know and he took something this important from him. I understand that now. Too late.
“I don’t know.” Mila doesn’t sugarcoat reality.
I keep staring at the damn door.
“I was financially dependent on him.” The need for the truth is so strong suddenly. It’s as if I need to bury the past by making it resurface completely. I don’t know if I’ll ever get an opportunity to explain my actions to Massi, so I speak now.
Mila leans forward, her attention on me.
“On Frederick. After I moved to take the job at his new place in LA, I found out I was carrying Massi’s baby. But Massi made it clear he didn’t want a child. Deep down, I knew he regretted marrying me so quickly and so young, and Frederick became an answer to all our problems.
“Frederick went to talk to Massi and came back confirming he wasn’t interested. I was devastated, and Frederick proposed. In my state back then, I agreed. That marriage solved my financial problems, and I also set Massi free from any obligation. And we all paid a price.”
Mila squeezes my hand. “But Frederick has never loved you. I’ve seen the two of you. So why did he agree to it?”
“For some outlandish reason he wanted to harm Massi, and stealing his wife was a great opportunity. I was scared back then. My father practically disowned me for my failure to save my marriage. I was heartbroken over the separation, overcome by grief over the baby we’d lost. I was nineteen, pregnant, with a failed marriage… not a confidence-building situation.
“I was grateful for Frederick’s attention. He seemed like a new beginning for me, but I guess he always knew my heart was elsewhere. He was good. He fed my insecurities and made me feel more and more dependent on him, blackmailing me really.”
“God, I’ve always known he was an asshole, but… I’m so sorry, Gina.” Mila’s voice surprises me. I almost forgot she was there.
“Don’t be. Your friendship and your support helped me to find a way out of that doomed relationship. Seeing you freely dive into so many weird adventures showed me how I’m barely existing instead of living. Having you admire me, learn from me, assist me in building my business, helped me pick up the shards of my confidence and start therapy. That led to me recognizing the failure of my second marriage wasn’t my fault. And the failure of the first one was a shared responsibility. Both realizations were key to setting me free.” I chuckle sadly. “Well, with shackles of betrayal attached.”
We fall silent. My mind, fatigued by the confession and the stress of the past hours and days, stills, interrupted only by the hum of the conversations, clang of dishes, thumps of footsteps and the lounge music.
Several times the kitchen door opens and sends my heart into overdrive, but it’s only the servers with lunch orders.
Mila folds her hands in her lap as she digests what she’s just learned. I might have lost my son, my livelihood, my love, and now probably my best friend. Loneliness sucks.
The door swings open and Massi appears with two plates. Seb walks behind and I can’t see if he’s carrying anything. It takes an indecent amount of time for them to reach us. Well, in my mind at least.
Massi nods and greets some patrons, not looking at me. When they reach the table, they both slide to their seats. It’s unnerving to see how they move with similar cadence.
Sebastien places a bowl of salad in front of me and one in front of Mila.
“Mom, I made my burger medium rare.” He picks up the bun. “Oh, we made you a salad because you don’t eat burgers.” He takes a bite, some of the garnish and sauce dripping down to his plate.
