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I cry into his T-shirt, loudly, unladylike. “I’d rather you leave.”
“That’s the one wish I will not grant you.” He cups my face and looks at me. For the first time in weeks, he looks at me with that look that got me hooked on him all those years ago and I try to swallow a sob. He’s too close. So close, I don’t know if I’m breathing by myself anymore.
“Stop blaming yourself,” he says, so gently that goosebumps sprout over my skin. I gasp or sob, or grunt, I’m not sure, but it’s a sound of relief mixed with anxiety. “I pushed you away, Blue, and the only thing you’re guilty of is that you stayed away. And then you came back and we got a glimpse of hope and it crumbled again too fast.
“Blue, being with you is the hardest thing in my life. I'm scared we'll keep hurting each other, but staying away from you hurts more. Staying away is so much harder.”
“What are you saying?” The stupid hope blooms.
“I’d rather be consumed by love than by anger and resentment. You didn’t want to hurt me. We both need to forgive each other, but mostly forgive ourselves.”
My face contorts as I try to stop the waterworks.
“I love you, Blue.”
He crushes his lips against mine. Two wounded souls on the mend. Here at the playground where it all started, but without the adolescent angst and naïve urgency, we find harmony in that kiss.
New beginning.
Atonement.
Hope.
Love.
Epilogue
Massi
2 months later
Ican’t stop kissing her. I really can’t. It’s ridiculous. It’s like I’ve been trying to cash out all the kisses I haven’t gotten over the years.
“Get a room.” Our son ambles into the kitchen and gets a soda from the fridge. “Seriously, the two of you, it’s embarrassing.”
We stand by the window, Blue’s back against me, my arms around her. Just like that, because we can. Because we want to. Seb eyes us with all the teenage contempt he can muster and leaves.
“We should tell him before we tell the rest of the family today.” I rub Blue’s belly.
“I’m a bit scared. We’ve been so busy with the move and the new school, I’m worried his fragile hormones might not take the news the right way. Perhaps we should wait.” She turns, wraps her arms around my waist, nuzzling the crook of my neck.
“Haven’t we learned enough about postponing the truth,” I whisper into her hair.
Her shoulders shake with a soft laughter. “Fair enough, but you tell him.”
I pull her behind me and we go to Seb’s room. We’ve remodeled the guest room for him. When I got this place seven years ago, it was meant as a bachelor pad, but the minute I saw it I thought how much Blue would love it. And she does. For now, we fit here.
“Hey, buddy, before we leave to see Granny and the clan, we wanted to tell you something.” Suddenly I understand Blue’s trepidation. Shit, this will be a major adjustment for him.
“Guessing by your faces, you’re not getting me a car for Christmas or a Caribbean getaway with my friends for spring break.” Lying on his bed, he peeks at us and then returns his attention to his screen.
“Sebastien, put away the phone.”
He looks at me, sighs, swings his legs over and sits on his bed, waiting.
“You don’t need a car in Manhattan and it’s still a long time until March.” Fuck, I’m so going to get him both.
Blue clears her throat and raises her eyebrows. Thank God she keeps me grounded, or we would have the most spoiled child in the world.
