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“Is Clara…?”
“Oh.” My eyes rounded. “No, Clara is okay. That’s not—she’s okay, and I’m just leaving. It’s good you’re here for Luca. He needs a friend.”
Elliot hadn’t let go of me. “Why the hell are you leaving him? What he needs is his wife.”
I shook my head, letting my eyes fall to the floor. “He doesn’t want me here.”
His fingers tightened around my arms before letting go and giving them a gentle rub. When he spoke, though, he was all business. “Okay. I’ll check on Luca. Do you need me to arrange a ride home for you?”
“No. I’m fine. I drove myself.”
He peered at me with a pinched expression. “Are you sure that’s safe? You’re upset.”
I drew in a deep breath. I knew Elliot Levy well enough to know he wouldn’t let me leave his sight if he believed I was a danger to myself or others. His mother had died in a car accident, so he didn’t take driving recklessly lightly.
“I’m good, Elliot. I just need to get home.”
It took a few more minutes to convince him, but he finally let me go. I drove carefully, probably more than I would have if I hadn’t had Elliot’s disapproving glare on my mind. I didn’t want to hear his shit if I crashed my car, so I made sure I didn’t out of spite.
Even heartbroken, I couldn’t let Elliot Levy get the best of me.
Hours later, I still didn’t know what to do. Luca hadn’t come back, and the walls of our home were closing in. Being squeezed like this, I couldn’t sleep or think. I wanted him to come home so we could talk, but I dreaded it at the same time. He’d told me in no uncertain terms he didn’t want me around.
It was his way or nothing.
There was no one for me to talk to about this with. Any other situation, I would have been drinking wine with Elise, singing Dolly Parton songs until my voice gave out, and letting her mop my tears. But I couldn’t do that. If I did, I’d have to admit to our lie.
I needed space to arrange my thoughts and decide how to go on from here. I couldn’t be here when Luca came home.
Not now.
Not when I didn’t know what to say to him or what happened next.
So, I packed a bag and wrote him a note. Then I gave Clementine some snuggles and arranged for our doorman to check on her until Luca returned.
As much as I wanted to hop on a plane and move somewhere on the other side of the globe, I couldn’t do that. I had responsibilities here now, so I wasn’t leaving forever.
Just for now.
Chapter Forty-one
Saoirse
Bynineo’clockthatevening, I was at Joy’s Elbow Room, throwing back a beer with my sister-in-law. Country music filtered over the din of conversation around us. Couples danced. Friends played darts. Our small table was an island of misery in the midst of the revelry.
Well, I was miserable. Elena was staring at me with barely restrained impatience. She didn’t have a lot of it on a normal basis, but pregnancy sucked the rest right out of her.
Once I’d arrived in Wyoming, I’d spent the afternoon snuggling the kids, riding Athena, and avoiding questions. Elena had put her foot down after dinner.
She wasn’t demanding answers, but I knew I wasn’t getting out of this town without spilling my guts. Deep down, that was probably why I came here. Elena wasn’t exactly a neutral party, but exposing the truth to her wouldn’t blow up my and Luca’s friend group.
All it took was one beer, and I was ready to talk.
When I started, everything poured out at once.
“My marriage to Luca is an arrangement. He basically needed a wife for his image, and I needed my mother off my back about dating. He asked me to marry him for two years, and I said yes because…well, you know how I am. I always say yes. But he told me from the beginning he wanted to settle down and have a real marriage eventually, and I explained my anti-marriage stance. We’re two people with fundamentally different beliefs about that. It should have been simple. I thought it would be.”
I waved my empty glass at our passing waitress. One beer wasn’t going to cut it. It had only begun to blur the raw edges of my eviscerated heart. I was going for full-on numbness.
