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She strode across the room, and as soon as she could reach me, she shoved my chest. “I can’t believe you, Luca. Why wouldn’t you just tell me you were going to work in your studio instead of disappearing without a word,knowingwhat I believed you were doing?” She shoved me again. Not hard. Just enough to keep my attention. “I can’t believe I’ve been looking at your sculptures in your living room, trying to figure them out, while I’m living with the freaking artist. I could have just asked you.”
“You could have.” I caught her hands before she could shove me again. “You can ask me anything.”
“I just have to know the right questions to ask.” Her eyes narrowed. “You aren’t wide open, no matter how many times you say you have no secrets.”
“I don’t have secrets, but you might be right. I could afford to be a little more open with you.” It seemed like I was safe from being shoved again, so I wrapped my hand around her nape. “For the final time, I am not having sex with any other women, and I won’t for the duration of this arrangement. My word might not mean anything to you yet, but it will. You will understand, sooner rather than later, if I have anything to say about it. When I tell you I’ll do something, you can count on it.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
I sank my fingers into her hair. “Do you get me, pretty girl? Are you hearing me?”
She nodded. “I do hear you.”
“Finally.”
She brought back the shoves. “Don’t be smug. You may not have been keeping this side of you a secret, but you definitely weren’t forthcoming, and you know it.”
“Maybe. I’ve never had someone to answer to. You’re the first person I’ve lived with since college.”
“You don’t answer to me, but a ‘hey, I’m headed down to the studio, see you later’ would be nice.”
My mouth hitched. “I can handle that.”
“We’ll see.” She pushed off me, forcing me to let her go. “Now, tell me about this place. Do you only sculpt?”
“That’s my main medium. I also paint and draw.”
Her gaze swept over me. “Do you love it?” She asked this with such complete earnestness I felt compelled to give her the full, raw truth.
“In another life, I’d make a go of this as a career. But I was born a Rossi, and with my last name comes responsibilities. What I do in this studio can’t be more than a hobby. That’s the way it is.”
“I’m not sure that answered my question, Luca.”
“That's all I have to give you.”
I showed her around, answering her endless stream of questions along the way. She wanted to see every corner, to know what each tool did. I wasn’t at all surprised she was so interested. Saoirse lived for experiences, and that was what this was for her: an experience to stack up with the others.
When she was finished with her tour, she started for the door, but I didn’t follow. “Aren’t you coming?”
I glanced around the space, then at her. “Hey, I’m gonna stay in the studio. See you later.”
That made her smile. “See? That wasn’t so hard.”
“You’re right. I’ll try to make it a habit.”
“Well”—she shifted from one foot to the other—“don’t stay up too late. You have work tomorrow.”
“Got it. Good night, pretty girl.”
“Good night, Luca. Thank you for showing me this.”
With that, she left me alone, quietly closing the door behind her, and I blew out a long, heavy breath, shoving my hair off my face.
I should have followed her upstairs. Eaten dinner with her. Made sure she was comfortable after the way I’d taken her this morning. Put her to bed.
But after the weekend of playing the good husband and bringing her into my studio, I needed to be on my own. To re-create the safe space between us we’d pretty much decimated the last few days.
I was only human. Continuing to grow closer to Saoirse would only lead to disaster. I could fuck without feeling. I’d proven that over the course of my life, time and time again. It was everything else I wasn’t able to compartmentalize.
