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It was a rare Saturday night off for Mom, so maybe I should’ve taken advantage of it and hung out with Pete or asked Emil what he was up to at the dorm, but instead I held back, preferring to enjoy time with my family. Besides, though I didn’t feel completely awful, just a few sniffles, I wouldn’t want to get worse and miss any classes.
But there was also that other thing in the back of my mind whenever I got sick…which couldn’t be helped. So I always made sure to take better care of myself.
Just hearing Star’s laugh lightened the heavy feeling in my chest whenever I thought about my cancer returning. She was completely captivated by the characters on-screen even if she’d watched this same movie a dozen times.
“Thanks for hanging out with us tonight,” Mom said.
I shrugged. “It feels good.”
“Pete isn’t around?”
“He might come by later so we can go up on the roof.”
Plus, the weather was mild, and the autumn air was refreshing.
She frowned. “I’m sorry we don’t have a backyard or porch for you to enjoy.”
“No, the roof’s great. We can see the lake from there.”
“I suppose so.” She was forever feeling guilty, and I hated that for her. We might’ve struggled from time to time, but she had made this a home for us.
So why did I act like I was ashamed of it? Maybe because I felt scrutinized enough. Not from Emil, though, and I was grateful for that.
“So guess what?” Mom said, reaching for a handful of popcorn. “Lewis says if I keep working so hard, he might promote me to assistant manager.”
“Really?” I sat up because that was a new development. “Would that change your hours?”
“Yes, to mostly days.” There was wariness in her gaze. “But…I wouldn’t earn tips anymore, and I don’t know if my salary will cut it.”
“But you might be happier,” I pointed out. “I can pick up shifts at the junkyard or find another part-time job to help out.”
She brushed my bangs away from my forehead. “Your only focus should be school. So you can live your dream.”
God, I loved her. She was always so supportive, and I’d admit, I had visions of moving to the city and becoming part of a Broadway production. But it was expensive to live there, so it was a silly notion. Still, it was what fueled me.
“I want to help contribute. I’m an adult.”
“You already are—with your sister. Helping so much you’re sacrificing your social life.”
“That’s not something that ever mattered to me.”
“What about your new friends at school?”
“It’s sort of weird. The vast majority of the students come from money, right?” She nodded. “So I sometimes feel like I have to monitor what I say. Like the other day, someone made a joke about junkyards, and I told them all the cool stuff that could be found there, and they all looked at me strangely, like…how would I know about that stuff?”
“That reminds me of snooty customers who sit in my section.” She took a sip of her soda. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. I chose to go there, remember?”
She sighed. “And what about Henry?”
“We’ve been chatting more and have become…friends.”
If only she knew how many of my thoughts he took up, especially after getting off together in his room. How hot was that? And to think it was his first time.
“Well, that’s a good thing since you have something in common.”
“Yeah, I suppose.” Did we have anything else in common besides being childhood cancer survivors and being attracted to each other as adults? I did enjoy our conversations and always had as a kid too. He was sweet, warm, and always made me feel calm. How that transferred to the present day was something I needed to unpack.
