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All eyes turn to me and my stomach sinks.This is not good.
Chapter Nine: Finn
ShitFuckDamn!There are literally not enough bad words to encompass the dread and frustration I’m feeling right now.
This is bad news. No, more than just bad. This is the worst possible fucking news of the century. If Ivy witnessed a mob hit, they’re going to do everything in their power to eliminate her. Especially since she holds the evidence on that damn SD card.
Fuck if I let that happen. I’ll stick her on a plane and fly her to the other side of the world if that’s what it takes to keep her safe.
My immediate reaction to protect her at all costs catches me a little off-guard. I’m not used to feeling like this—having actual, deep concern for another person. Or, at least, I haven’t felt it in a very long time. My M.O. is to play everything off like it’s no big deal and everything will all work itself out. I’m the good-time guy whose job is to keep the mood light and make people laugh.
I’m not the one who sweeps in to save the day. Not anymore at least. Back when I was a Night Stalker, I flew in on my helo and came to the rescue of more operators than I can count. But I was just the transportation, those guys I carried did the real heavy lifting. And there was definitely no emotional investment or attachment involved like I’m experiencing now.
My role feels like it’s changing, and I’m not exactly sure how I feel about playing protector. And catching feelings for my protectee. I witnessed it happen to the entire Slater team—saw each one of them fall madly in love—and I’ve always considered myself immune to the same fate.
After Autumn betrayed me, I walled my heart up and hid behind the easygoing, flyboy persona, not taking anything or anyone too seriously, including myself. Well, especially myself. And it worked really well for a long time. But now something has shifted.
Ever since Ivy entered my life, I’ve wanted to be more than just the cocky flyboy. I needherto see me as more, too. It’s so weird to think of possibly having a serious relationship with a woman. I’m not even sure I know how, but Ivy makes me want to learn.
Christ, who the hell am I?
Glancing over at Ivy, I decide I’m the man who’s going to keep her safe. And I’ll do whatever it takes.
After the meeting, Kennedy and Aidan invite us to grab lunch over at Rex’s, a bar and restaurant owned by one of Aidan’s former teammates. Back to the scene of the crime, where Ivy and I originally met, and I can’t help but smile. It feels like we got off track, but now things are coming around to a full 360 and we’re right back where we’re supposed to be.
Ivy and Kennedy chatter away nonstop during the ride over to the beachfront restaurant in the rental Range Rover. I’m not sure when Ivy last saw Kennedy, but they seem to be catching up on a lot. Which leaves the opportunity for me to talk to Aidan, but I’m not sure what to say to the intense former SEAL, to be honest. Either it’s the typical weather chat or companionable silence. We end up mutually going with the silence. The last time we spent any real time together, I was trying to keep a helo from crashing and, well, that didn’t turn out very well. But, hey, we all lived so there’s that.
When we arrive at Rex’s, I’m not expecting so many familiar faces. Jack “Oz” Cullen and Dominic “Capo” Rossi are already there, sitting on stools and talking to the big man behind the bar. Max “Rex” Granger has his arm around his woman, Shay Weston, and they look genuinely and completely happy. Content and secure in each other’s mere presence.
Is that something I want? Am I ready for it? I’m 33-years-old. I should be looking to settle down, right? But I can’t say that I am. I can blame it on Autumn, but that almost seems too easy now. Ivy shared enough of her past for me to recognize we have that fear in common. Could I get over it for her? I feel like I want to try. Something else is holding me back, and I’m not exactly sure what. Maybe my upbringing is creeping in too close. Am I even good enough for Ivy?
Shoving away thoughts of my depressing childhood in Indiana, I greet the guys then hang back, plant myself on a bar stool, and watch Ivy chat away with everyone. Hell, she says I’m charming? The moment she opens her mouth to speak, everyone listens with rapt attention. She possesses an innate magnetism that draws people to her.
Including me.
“Finn? Earth to flyboy.”
I snap back to the conversation and notice Jack just moved up beside me. “Sorry, what?”
“Damn, you’ve got it bad, bro.”
He chuckles and I frown. “No idea what you’re talking about, frog.” Even though I try to play it off and reluctantly drag my attention off Ivy, it’s too late. Jack was LT of his team and he’s far too perceptive.
“Liar,” he says. “But it’s okay. You’ll get over yourself.”
I roll my eyes. “Just because you and everyone else here is whipped beyond reason, doesn’t mean that’s my fate, too.”
“Yeah, okay. If you say so.”
Guess there’s no point in denying it, so I may as well ask for the big man’s advice. He’s been with Allegra longer than the other guys have been with their significant others. I pull in a deep breath then say, “I’m not exactly boyfriend material and Ivy thinks I’m a flight risk.”
“None of us was boyfriend material,” Jack responds with a smirk and takes a sip of his beer. “It takes the right woman to change that. And, shit, if Trip can do it, there’s hope for all of us.”
I can’t help but laugh. Jericho “Trip” Strong is a knucklehead and one of Jack’s former teammates. He was a big player, more so than me, and fell hard for his younger neighbor. Now he and Sydney are engaged and have a little girl, and he dotes upon them endlessly.
“True. It’s hard because Ivy has this image of me that isn’t exactly accurate. Hell, it’s my own fault because that’s what I project to people.”
“You mean there’s more in there than Eric Finn, pilot extraordinaire, relentless flirt and good-time guy?” he asks sarcastically.
