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“Maybe a little.”
“A lot,” Jack corrects in his firm, gravelly commander voice. “You risked your life on hundreds of missions flying guys like us into hostile territory in the dead of night. You’re more than just a great pilot, though, Finn. You’re a damn good human being. And if she can’t see that, she’s not the woman for you.”
“I want her to be the woman for me, though, Oz.” I can’t believe I’m admitting it, finally saying the words out loud. But it feels damn good.
“Then let her see you. Therealyou. Not the charming flyboy who’s a flight risk.”
I nod and reach for my ginger ale and lime.
“Where’s your beer?” Jack asks. “Are you on call?”
“Slater has me on call 24/7.”
“Doesn’t he have a second pilot?”
“He did at one point, but it’s just me now. The other guy quit because he had a family and a life which, clearly, I don’t.”
Jack slaps me on the back. “You will. Hang in there.”
I watch Jack walk away, letting his words marinate. Maybe he’s right. Maybe if I let Ivy in, let her see my true self, things will change. But that involves me opening up and being vulnerable. Revealing the real me, the poor kid who grew up in a trailer park with his drunk father, isn’t something I’m keen to do. Letting people only see and believe the persona I show is so much easier.
Every so often, I catch Ivy slanting a glance in my direction. Maybe there’s hope for us yet. I want her, but in order to get her, I’m going to have to open myself up like never before. The question is, can I do that?
And the bigger question is, if I do, will she still want me?
Fuck.The thought makes my stomach churn and I take a settling sip of my ginger ale. I don’t drink alcohol, even when I’m not on call. But it makes a convenient excuse when I don’t want to share the real reason I avoid it. And honestly, it’s not something I’ve ever wanted to share. The memories of what alcohol did to my father, how it made him act, how it changed him, never made it appealing to me. Always being the sober one never bothered me, though, because I still managed to be the life of the party. Instead of drinking, I spent the time developing my charm, which I did in spades.
Back in the Army, while other guys were stumbling around drunk on our night off, I was talking up the girls and getting laid. No point in screwing up a good thing and drinking. Plus, I got to play designated driver and make sure my buddies all got back to the base safely.
It was a win-win for me. And I never had to deal with hangovers.
We end up hanging out at Rex’s for a couple of hours, eat some lunch and fill everyone in on what’s happening with Ivy and how she witnessed Maxwell Sharpe’s murder. Jack, Dom, Max and Aidan assure us they’ll help if we need anything, which I appreciate. They are definitely good allies to have when shit goes sideways. Then we’re saying goodbye and heading out.
Aidan and Kennedy drive us back to the Slater office and the girls hug as Aidan and I shake hands. “If you need anything at all,” Aidan says to me in a low voice, “don’t hesitate to ask. Ivy is family and we’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”
“Thanks,” I tell him. Knowing the pirates have our back means a lot. Between them and my crew here at Slater Security, I know Ivy is in the best possible hands.
As they drive away, I kick-start my bike a few times before it roars to life then help Ivy get on behind me.
“How old is this motorcycle?” she asks, and I hear the smile in her voice.
“She’s a 1974 original,” I say and strap my helmet on.
“You really love your classics.”
“Damn straight.”
“Why?” Ivy asks, her arms wrapping around me. “I would think you’d want a more modern bike instead of one that you have to jump start half a dozen times.”
“Kick-start,” I correct with a grin.
She chuckles. “Oh. Well, same difference.”
I love the way she says things half off from their actual terms. It’s kind of adorable. “Like I’m a Night Hawk?” I tease.
Her face presses against my back and I feel her body shake with mirth. “NightStalker.”
My hand drops to cover hers, lightly squeezes, and she freezes. “Have you ever driven a motorcycle before?”
