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Or was us getting together part of the plan?
Does he actually like me?
My mind is a storm of every hurtful plot Casper could be in the middle of. He made me start trusting him, wanting him… loving him. I underestimated him, jumped too soon, and that’s on me.
This is too much. I don’t know what the hell I believe right now, but I do know I need to get the hell out of here. I press my hand to the heartache tearing through my chest and run back up the stairs.
My handbag is in the storeroom because I wanted to keep my notebook and phone close by, but my case is in the room I’m supposed to be sharing with him tonight.
At this moment, I don’t care if he burns it all. I just need to get as far away from him as possible.
Without looking over my shoulder, I jog to the storeroom, my heels clicking on the stone, and I go out of the side door.
I’msostupid. Of course, I couldn’t trust him. Every word, every touch, every promise was a complete lie. My face flames, my skin pricking as every good memory disintegrates before me.
It wasneverreal.
Tears stream down my cheeks, falling faster than I can wipe them away. There’s no way to stop them now. Casper broke my heart.
I use the service door knowing everyone else is around the other side of the building. Although I can’t be seen from around here, I still keep my head down and powerwalk over the stones.
Nothing has ever felt this bad before. I want to curl up and ignore the world.
There won’t be any buses running at this time of night, but I will be able to get a taxi in town. I’d run right now—anything to put as much distance between us as possible.
The long driveway stretches out for what appears like miles. In the dark, I can no longer see the main road. My heels slide on the stone, but I don’t slow my pace. Shooting my arms to the side, I steady myself and continue along the drive.
My lungs flatten, and the muscles in my thighs burn as I move quickly, desperate to put some distance between us as if physical space will fix this.
At some point, I will have to talk to him; I know that. Running away from our problems isn’t something I want to do anymore, but right now, I don’t want to see his face or hear his voice. I don’t want his excuses or reasons. I just need a night where I don’t have to deal with him while I figure out what to do. God, I’m so glad we didn’t sign a lease on an apartment. I was right to wait.
It won’t be long before he realises that I’m gone. I just hope I manage to get home before that happens. Fifteen minutes is what I told him I needed. He’ll think I’m being hypervigilant, probably joking with his parents about how I’m doing another check.
Maybe it will be long enough for me to make it back.
I pick up the pace a little, anxiety thick in my stomach at the thought of him catching up to me. I want to keep going and never stop—to move someplace new and forget that I ever met Casper Hart.
Soon enough, I’m far enough away that the music, applause, and laughter fades into the background, and all I can hear is my heavy breathing and heart tearing open with new wounds.
Fuck, he told them I don’t have a lot of money.
Stop thinking.
I push my fist into my mouth as a wave of nausea the size of the Atlantic Ocean washes over me. I’m so humiliated, I don’t know how I’ll face his parents ever again. Not that I’ll need to see them now.
That’s another thought that makes me want to throw up.
I’m so angry and heartbroken… yet I don’t want to think about a life that he’s not part of. How does that make sense? He’s wrecked everything, crushed me, and I know I’m going to fucking miss him. I already do.
It’s so messed up.
This was always going to happen. I should’ve walked away when I realised how consuming he is to me.
By the time I reach town, I’m out of breath and a big sweaty mess who just needs to crawl into bed and cry. Or scream. Or drink. Maybe all three.
I don’t really know what to think, but I know I won’t figure it out tonight. If I can manage to get him to leave me alone for the night, it will be a miracle.
He’s not going to get a choice. I’m not ready.
