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I let out a deep breath. “No, we’re here. We can roast marshmallows.”
I tear open the bag and grab a nearby stick. Taking out my knife, I clean the end of it and then stick on a couple of marshmallows.
Imogen doesn’t say anything and instead places the stick over the fire, turning it slowly.
Darkness has descended, and the forest is full of shadows. Now that I’m back here, I realize this place has no power over me. My father is long gone. From afar, it’s been easy to imagine this place seething with ill will and bad memories, but up close, it’s sad. The past could have played out so differently if the adults had dealt with their issues and learned to be more adaptable. My father should have sought treatment for his excessive drinking. And my mother could have established a residence nearby, given that my father had legal custody. She would have been able to keep a closer eye on everything. But instead, they became locked in a struggle that neither won.
19
Heartbreak (Imogen)
Antigua
Iwake disoriented in Alex’s arms. The warm smoothness of his body is pressed against my back. It must be mid-morning. The light streams through the open windows, and in the distance waves are crashing into the sand.
I gently move away from him. I smile as I remember why we barely slept last night. I need the bathroom and then a glass of water. I walk naked to the adjoining bathroom, and after using the toilet, I slip into a white robe hung on the back of the door.
When I slip back into the room, Alex sits up and stretches. “Come back to bed.”
I smile and shake my head. “No, we’ve been in bed for hours. I need some coffee, and we need to discuss the next few weeks.”
He leans forward and smiles. “Come back to bed.”
I feel my heartbeat increasing and my limbs becoming more relaxed. I want to lose myself in his embrace, but I resist. We need to decide on my future with the company.
I tighten the belt around my waist. “I can’t. We have to make a few decisions today. I don’t think more sex will help with that.”
His eyes narrow. “More sex always helps.”
“I’m making coffee for us.” I back out of the room and narrowly miss the pillow he tosses at me.
After boiling water in the kettle, I grind the coffee beans and put them in the French press. The routine of making coffee helps to ground me. Yet, my limbs feel shaky. I know discussing the future with Alex won’t go well. He’s told me that he doesn’t see himself settling down.
I pour the water into the glass carafe over the ground coffee and wait for it to settle.
Wandering out to the balcony, I feel the intense sunshine on my face and look out at the beach. I’m beginning to feel at home in Antigua. It’s so different from New York.
Alex slips his hands around my waist and pulls me back against him. He smells and feels so good.
He growls near my ear. “Good morning.”
I smile and turn to look into his eyes. “It’s so beautiful in Antiqua. I’ll pour us coffee.”
He kisses me softly. “Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll pour the coffee?”
“Sure.” I head back to the bedroom to find clothing.
Whatever he wants to discuss, he thinks we should both be dressed. That can’t be a particularly good sign. It’s been two days since we left Ireland, and he has been emotionally walled off. Only willing to share his body, not his thoughts. I’m not surprised. The trip rattled him, and I’ve been walking on eggshells. I’ve had a nagging feeling that with his history, I shouldn’t have insisted on visiting the area where he grew up.
After a thirty-second shower, I dry off and pull on the only sundress I have with me. Instead of panties, I put on bikini bottoms and tuck the bikini top into my daypack, along with some sunscreen.
Glancing in the mirror, I put on minimal eyeliner and mascara, then a mineral sunscreen. I’m assuming we’ll be in the water at some point. After taking a deep breath, I leave the bedroom suite.
I step onto the balcony and notice Alex glancing out at the water. A small table is set with coffee, croissants, and slices of mango and watermelon.
“Hey, I tried to be quick.”
He turns and picks up the French press. “I can hardly believe we’ve been together three weeks already.”
