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But lately, she has become too inquisitive. She refused to stop questioning me about Immy. She even booked tickets on several occasions to New York and insisted I go.
I’ve spent the last few weeks beating myself up for letting Imogen Smith walk away without a backward glance. I could have made promises or shown a more vulnerable side to her. Instead, I walled myself off and didn’t let her in.
The problem is I want her in my life. I want to hear her laugh and see her eyes dilate as she comes. I wake up in a cold sweat most mornings, feeling her loss all over again.
My phone rings as I walk towards the truck. My eyes narrow as I see Graham’s name. I hope my mother is okay.
I put him on speaker. “Hey, Graham. What’s up?”
“Wow. I didn’t know if you would answer. Where am I catching you?”
I throw my pack in the back of the truck and climb into the driver’s side. “I’m not far from Lima. I just finished a camping trip in the rainforest and am about to catch a flight to Belize.”
“You do keep yourself busy.”
I find the keys. “Is everything okay with my mother?”
“Yes, Regina is perfect and has no idea I’m calling you.”
I look at my phone. I hope he doesn’t want to organize some surprise trip. I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with them right now.
“Why are you calling?” I tense up. He is my stepfather now. I don’t need to be so rude.
“I’m worried about you. I met Imogen at the wedding and have been listening to your mother sing her praises. She even devised a way to get you back to Ireland. But now it’s radio silence. It’s as if you never met her.”
I rub the back of my neck. He is trying to be nice, but this is too much. I’m not updating Graham or my mother on my personal life. “I have no intention of discussing this with you.”
“You need someone you can talk to. You travel so much that knowing when something is up with you is impossible.”
“Nothing is up, Graham. I finished a trip to the rain forest and I’m about to lead a diving tour in the Great Blue Hole.”
He clears his throat. “Alex, go find that girl and beg her to take you back.”
My jaw tightens. “I’m not begging anyone to do anything.”
“I wish you were standing in front of me. It’d be so much easier. But Alex, you stood in front of me before the wedding and talked some sense into me. I needed that. And you need someone to stand up to you and tell you to get your head out of your arse.”
I stop myself from hitting the steering wheel. “I’m ending this call.”
“No, hear me out.”
My hand hovers over the phone.
“I know you had a terrible start in life. That you were abandoned and not properly protected. But at some point, in your adulthood, you have to stop running and be willing to face your fears.”
I lean back and close my eyes. “I face my fears every day, Graham. That is what adventure is all about.”
“I mean emotional fears. I don’t know if you fear being left or not being loved. But that fear needs to be faced.”
“I was left and not loved. I don’t fear that.”
“Your mother loves you. And in his own way, your father loved you. Unfortunately, they spent years battling in court while you grew up isolated and neglected. But now, you’re making a choice. You can choose to stay isolated, or you can choose to open yourself up to love. Because I’m rather certain that the girl loves you, or she wouldn’t have been willing to take you back to where you grew up.”
“She has a name, Graham.”
“Yes, Imogen Smith. She is beautiful, smart, empathetic, and completely in love with you.”
“You don’t know that.”
