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His chest rises, then he nods. Sitting beside me, Donnelly joins our video frame.
“Moffy?” Xander calls. “We can’t see you, man.”
We hear Farrow tell our brother, “Click the video button.”
“Yeah, I got it, thank you for that helpful instruction,” Maximoff says.
“Anytime, wolf scout.” Hearing the smile inside Farrow’s voice instantly calms me.All must be well.
They suddenly appear, Farrow and Maximoff—and my brother is cradling a swaddled rosy-cheeked baby with the cutest little pout. They angle the camera to show MK in the background, still in her hospital gown but sitting up on the bed. She looks swoony watching the new dads, and she gives us two thumbs up.
“Everyone’s healthy,” Farrow tells us.
Donnelly makes a hand gesture, one that I think meanslove.
Xander can’t stop smiling, and I feel more overwhelmed.
Moffy’s eyes are bloodshot like he’s been crying, I hope only happy tears, and Farrow touches the back of his skull in affection. To us, Moffy says, “Xander. Luna. You have a niece. Her name is Cassidy Keene Hale.”
Cassidy? If they told me about this name before, I’ve forgotten it. Sadness envelops me, and I try to banish every last bit of it. But it’s starting to feel insurmountable.
I want to hang on to the amazing pieces of life. Seeing my niece for the first time. This is spectacular, a singular moment in the timeline that I’m witnessing. I might not have the past just yet, but I have this.
Tears build. “It’s cosmic,” I suddenly realize.
“What is?” Moffy asks.
“Cassidy’s birth. Maeve’s birth. Ripley’s birth,” I tell everyone. “They were all born on the 15th. One in November, one in December, and the last in January. Cosmic happenings bring good fortune, I’ve always believed.”
“The lucky few,” Donnelly grins, but as our eyes briefly meet, we acknowledge that we’re not so fortunate. And I hope they won’t ever be unlucky like us.
* * *
I havean adjoining hotel room to my brother’s, and I lean in the doorway between our rooms, about to let my brother go to sleep. Donnelly is saying goodnight to me, his hand perched high above my head.
I vacillate between wanting to talk to him longer and to go write more.
Laptop in my hands, I ask him quietly, “Why’d they name her Cassidy? Do you know?”
He nods. “Cassidy Walsh.”
I frown. “Who’s that?”
“Farrow’s mom,” Donnelly says, just as hushed. “She passed away when he was four. Breast cancer.”
“I never knew that,” I murmur.
“He might’ve told you.”
And I just don’t remember.Donnelly was trying to comfort me with the fact, but it sinks heavier. “Yeah.” I glance up at him. “Time feels so strange to me. All these babies are being born and announced and just yesterday it felt like all my cousins were single.” I stare far away. “I’m just waiting for everything to slow down, but it’s not. It won’t.”
“Everyone else might feel like they’re moving at warp speed, but I’m at your pace, space babe. We’re in the slo-mo zone together.” He’s trying to make the slo-mo setting sound fun. For me, I think, but with him, I haven’t wanted to go slow.
“Are you usually snail-paced with girls?” I ask him.
“Not usually, no,” Donnelly admits, trying to read my expression. “But I’ve gotta be with you, you know that…”
I know.My gaze is downcast, mixed emotions torpedoing me. The only way for him to speed up is if I remember.
