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Leaning against the open front door, I watch as the last of our belongings are loaded into the moving truck. My paintings are there, most of my supplies, some of Hanna’s favorite pieces of furniture, irreplaceable antiques, most sourced through questionable means. Only a select few are there, and they’re all going into storage for now, before they’ll be loaded in a container and shipped home.
Home.
What a strange word… after all these years of being nomads, of being different people, we will finally have everything we worked for.
Then why do I feel so utterly incomplete?
The doors to the truck close with a loud, metallic bang, then the movers walk over to Hanna, and I watch them have a brief discussion. One of them looks besotted as he listens to her speak, the other glances my way, nodding once. That’s it. No one ever lingers, no one ever watches me with that yearning look, with hunger.
Except…
No. Not now. You need to focus!
But then again, there is a reason why I’m going off plan, and he has far too much to do with it all.
“It’s strange, isn’t it?”
Hanna startles me. When did she finish talking with the movers? When did she walk next to me? I swear, I’m losing it.
“What is?”
The two guys wave at us before they climb into their truck. I wave back, then turn my attention to her.
“This… it’s over. Everything in the house is gone. The charity called to say thank you, by the way. The rest of our prized possessions are on their way to our forever homes. I don’t know, this whole adventure we’ve been on for the last few years is finally done and somehow it feels…”
“Bittersweet.” I fill the pause.
She nods, her gaze on the truck disappearing behind the hedgerow at the edge of the property.
“Most people could only dream of retiring before they hit thirty… or forty, or fifty, for that matter. And we now have that,” she says, turning to me with a sheepish smile on her red lips. “The adventure is over.”
“And you’re okay with that. Right?” I question, lightly narrowing my eyes.
She nods again, pausing a bit longer than necessary.
“Hanna, are you alright?”
“I am, yes, sorry. It’s just strange. All these business deals, the risks, the rush… I’m so used to them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to the cocktails on the beach, the nights swimming in the ocean or my pool, the books, all the projects I have planned. I was even thinking of opening a charity of my own, doing something more with all this money. But it will just be a bit of an adjustment, I guess.”
Only, I’m not ready to adjust. She seems to be. Which is why what I’m about to tell her might fuck with all that peace.
I sigh and take a seat on the first step.
“I’m looking forward to all of that too, but… not just yet.”
She climbs down the few stairs until she stands in front of me, her eyes wide, expectant.
“What do you mean, Annika?”
Shit, she only ever calls me by my full first name when she’s serious. I rub my hands over my face, thankful to be make-up free right now.
“I… shit, I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“You better try. Fast.”
“Before I say anything, I just want you to know that I did this for me and me alone. I don’t want this to mess with you, your dream, the peace and quiet in your new life. I would actually prefer you to be as far away as possible, because I need you safe. I’m only telling you this because you deserve to know.”
