Page 42 of Rocking Her Silence


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I used to bring that letter everywhere with me, but when the ink started fading, and the paper started to turn thin because of how much I handled it, Jared helped me scan it so I could keep it in all my devices while the original was sealed in a protective plastic sleeve and is currently sitting in the first drawer of my nightstand, back at my flat.

I remember her words by heart, but on a whim, I open the lid of my laptop and wake it, wanting to read those words. Needing toseethem right now:

"-Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.-

Dear Mia, today you turn fourteen. You have been ours for eleven years now, and the words of this poem have never been truer. I look at you, and I see Jared in the way you joke and in the way you care for others. I look at you, and I see your dad in the determined way you want to learn about things. I look at you, and sometimes, I even see myself in your smile, in your stubbornness. But most of all, I see you. My brave little girl. One of us. Always. Mia Bravo. And you know what 'Bravo' means, right? It means 'Brave' and also 'Extraordinary good at things’. You are both, Mia. Both 'brava' and 'brave’. But sometimes, I fear for you. Sometimes, I feel like you forget how brave you can really be. There is nothing in this world that can take your strength from you because you have the best type of strength there is. A strength that comes from love. So as a Bravo, you must be brave always. Be heard even if you're silent. Make noise even if you can't hear it yourself. Make a difference. Take risks. Fall in love. Use your head, but don't forget your heart. It doesn't matter that you can't hear. You can listen. You can feel. And you can be heard. You just have to want to break the silence. You know what I always tell you, right?

From the song…? You can shine even in the darkness. You always could. Always will be able to. But you don't have to shine alone, darling.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Love, Mom."

I abruptly close the screen again. Those words about shining in the darkness, they are from a song that my mom loved very much.

A song I haven't thought about in years.

Gabriel.

After receiving that letter that night, I've always believed that the universe can send us signs.

I still believe it's true, most of the time.

So I cannot unsee this, can I?

The letter…

The song… from all those years ago…

I have to accept that it’s gotta mean something, right?

CHAPTER15

Carson

Ilook at the TAG Heuer strapped to my wrist and sigh.

Through some pushing and prodding and somenot-so-discreetsnooping around, I've learned that Little Beauty keeps a very specific daily routine, so I know she will be down soon.

Today's her day off, and I couldn't wait until tomorrow afternoon to see her at the start of her shift at the hotel.

It would have been too damn long, so here I am. My back against one of the walls of the building where she lives, eyes on the glass front door.

Shit, I've gone crazy over this girl. She's the one woman that wouldn't give me the time of day, and I want no one but her. It figures.

And there isn’t a single specific thing that I can pinpoint and say, ‘Yes, that's what it is. That's how she got me…’

It's everything about her.

Not just that she looks like a veritable angel with curves that go on for days. And not even just because she's so tiny my arms fucking itch from wanting to hold her to me and keep her safe. It's not that she makes me laugh, gets me hard as fuck, or makes me near damn turn into a blabbering fool whenever I think about her. It's that I think she really cares about me. Sure, she's scared, but she cares.

And she doesn't act starstruck around me like all the others do.

She sees me. Like… the real me. She couldn't care less about my rock god status. She's the one person in the world I'm pretty sure I could spend down to my last dime trying to buy, and it wouldn't work.

She's not about to swoon over my fame, success, and money anytime soon.

It's the first time in my life that I can't use my music, voice, and rock star persona to get what I want.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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