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I even see those signs over the pages of my open book.
My mind is in a stump, in a loop… I don't know what to call it.
I see him biting his lip. His fingers spellingK-I-S-S…
My heart does its usual little funny dance, and I just slap the book closed. There is no use.
I'm in total mooning-mode.
How could I not be?
I mean, he is not giving up on this, on me… is he?
He keeps doing all these cute, amazing things forme.
Things no man, deaf or otherwise, has ever done before.
This is so damn scary…
But…
He learned to spell with his fingers. Not just my name, even…
He knows the full alphabet.
He learned it for me.Me.
And I don't even know what's holding me back, what's scaring me so much?
I know he's sincere.
Heck, I could say I have hard evidence of this.
People may think of psychology as a soft science even in its more technical, practical applications, but micro-expressions are a thing. Damn, they aremything.
And there are certain tells I should be able to see on his face when we are together that would clarify beyond a doubt if he were just messing with me.
But he has displayed none of them.None.
Words can turn into lies, and so can signs, but faces… faces don't lie. Facescan'tlie.
Carson's communicative style, his body language, his facial expressions… everything looks so truthful.
When he tells me he cares about me, that he wants to get to know me… he is… he is telling the truth.
Even knowing all of this, I still tested him. I asked for the impossible, sure he would back down. And he didn't.
I see his band's logo in my brain.
The all-caps stocky, squared letters in white, the black contouring around the entire word'BURNING'and the flame-colored '21'slashed over the middle of it.
He told me what neither he nor his bandmates have ever let slip in years.
He shared a secret so big with me without blinking, without overthinking things, or even asking for time to decide.
He just told me. He… trusts me.
And that kiss…
