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At least, I think I do. Until I hear the door open and feel a familiar dip in the mattress behind me. Suddenly, all I want is to be wrapped in Ivan, cocooned in his scent and protected from the outside world.
He drapes his arm over my hip. His warmth soaks through my shirt, melting away the chill my dad left behind.
“Are you okay?” he whispers.
The tenderness in his voice makes my eyes water. I squeeze them closed and nod. “I’m okay.”
“I knew you were, but I needed to make sure you knew it, too.”
I roll over so I’m facing him. Even when I’m prepared to be close to him, it always takes me by surprise. The scent of his skin, the feel of him against me, the closeness of his mouth—all of it is intoxicating in a way I’ve never felt before. It’s a struggle to think straight.
“What does that mean?”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “It means that you’re strong. You’ve been through a lot worse than a meeting with your dad. I wouldn’t have brought him here if I didn’t think you could handle it. I’m glad you know how strong you are, too.”
I hear my dad’s voice in my head.If he thought I was a bad guy, would he have let me into his house?
“You could have told me he was coming.” I sigh. “I’m not mad, but I’m notnotmad. I’ve had enough surprises for a lifetime.”
He runs a finger down my spine. “If I’d told you, would you have agreed to see him?”
“The only reason I agreed to it is because of you. If you’d told me and then asked me to meet with him, I would have done it.” Ivan arches a skeptical brow and I wilt slightly. “I would have… considered it.”
He snorts. “You would have flat-out refused. And I understand that. My dad didn’t abandon me and I still avoid him whenever possible.”
“Speaking of which, I would love advance warning when he’s coming over. I have enough parental drama without dealing with yours, too.”
“Fair enough.” He traces a path under the slope of my jaw. “I just knew how much him leaving hurt you,solnishka.And I knew that the version of events you were told wasn’t completely accurate.”
I blow out a breath. “I almost forgot about that. Apparently, my mom knew Alexander before my dad left?”
“That’s what he says. He told me that your mom cheated on him. When she left to be with Alexander, Alexander refused to take you all in. But she was so in love with him that she bounced around from shelter to shelter with you rather than go back to your dad.”
I shake my head. “I want to say it doesn’t make sense. I mean, if Alexander was already in the picture when we were living on the streets, why wouldn’t he have stepped in?” I pause and reconsider. “Actually, when I say it out loud, it makes perfect sense. Alexander has been a sadistic manipulator from the very beginning. I’m not surprised at all.”
We’re quiet for a while. Ivan watches me, his finger still swirling, our breath mingling.
Finally, I look up at him. “He asked me to forgive him.”
“You don’t have to.”
I arch a brow. “You’re the one who brought him here. I figured you were on his side.”
“I’m on your side.” He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close. “I’m always on your side.”
“Even if I don’t know what I’m going to do yet?”
“Even if you know exactly what you’re going to do and decide you will never forgive him and want to key his car.”
That surprises a laugh out of me. “I had no idea committing petty crimes was a date night option.”
“Petty crimes, misdemeanors, just about any felony you can dream up. I’m open for anything as long as you’re with me.” His smile softens and the moment between us softens, too. “I’m not going anywhere, Cora. You have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do with your dad. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I’ve done a good job of holding back my tears, but one slips free.
Ivan brushes it away. “Don’t cry.”
“No, it’s good. It’s a happy tear. Knowing that you’ll be here, that we have time—it means everything to me.”
