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Tillie wipes her face with her hands. Her tears have slowed, but they’re definitely still there. “Like you didn’t know.”
“I didn’t. Jesus, Buttons. I get hundreds of calls that I don’t answer. I never do if I don’t recognize the number. Which, just to say, if it was her ass I wouldn’t. Why in the hell would Emily be calling me? I haven’t spoken to her—”
“Oh, I know when you spoke to her last, Ryder.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, about the time you fucked her and knocked her up.”
My body goes taut with that. “What the actual fuck?” I roar. Yeah. I’m going to need to trademark those words.
Tillie’s tears get harder. She spews out her next words as if they’re poison. “She’s pregnant, Mr. Break Your Headboard. You knocked her up!”
“And that’s it,” I snap. I lift her up over my shoulder and start stalking back toward the locker rooms.
“Put me down, asshole!”
I reach up and slap my hand down on her ass. I do it hard, though not as much as I’d like at that moment, because of the awkward position. “Shut it, Tillie,” I warn her. “I’m taking you back to the locker room. I’m changing and then we’re going to get to the bottom of this and if you’re very lucky, I’ll let you suck on my cock to calm me down before I spank you again.”
“You get your cock anywhere near my face and I’ll bite it off,” she threatens.
I slap her ass again, harder this time. “Don’t challenge me. This is not the time, and you won’t like the outcome, Buttons.”
“Ryder, damn it! You can’t just leave the game!” Green yells.
“Fire me,” I growl. “I couldn’t give a fuck about the game. I have to get this taken care of.”
Tillie goes still. “Ryder,” she hisses. I feel her trying to lift up on my shoulder. “He doesn’t mean it, Green! He loves baseball. He’s just joking. Don’t fire him.”
“I mean it. Fire me!”
“Will you stop that? You’d be lost without baseball, Ryder”.
“I love you, Tillie.You,I’d be lost without and since you’ve apparently gone batshit crazy, I’m going to get you sorted and if that gets me fired, then I don’t really give a fuck.”
Shit, maybe I should just trademark the word fuck and be done with it.
This woman has made me crazy.
Ryder
I let out a sigh as I turn into the long, winding drive of the ranch. I glance over at Tillie and she’s still staring out the passenger window. We haven’t spoken much on the ride here from the airport and we didn’t exactly speak on the plane either. I don’t guess there’s a lot to say. I swore to her that I haven’t had contact with Emily at all since the day we broke up and she just looked at me. I don’t think she believes me at all and that just pisses me off and burns in my gut.
How can I be in love with a woman who doesn’t even trust me? I know we have some past issues that we need to work through. I am well aware of how bad that night at the lake had to hurt her. I can even see where it would make it hard for her to trust me, but fucking hell… She’s had to feel at least some of what I’ve felt since we’ve been together. She has to see how devoted I am to her.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for relationships and it’s just a pipedream that I will someday have the love that my parents and grandparents shared.That thought might not hurt as much if I didn’t feel like what I share with Tillie was that and more.It was everything.Shit, it was so much that I might not recover from the loss of it.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to let her go. Having Tillie in my life is better than not having her—even if she doesn’t trust me. Christ, I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no plans. All I know right now is that I’m going to the ranch and get my brothers to help me to track Emily down in Cheyenne—where she apparently told Tillie she was living. Once I do that, I’m going to make her tell Tillie why she’s lying and spreading this fucking shit.
That will probably soothe over Tillie’s issues for now, but it’s not going to touch mine. I’m not sure what will, except maybe a miracle to make Tillie finally realize I love her, so she admits she loves me too. Fuck, she has to love me. If she doesn’t then there’s no point to this.
There’s no point to anything.
I push my thoughts away as I pull up to my parents’ home. Mom and Dad’s vehicles are there, that’s not unusual but the fact that all three of my brothers have their trucks here is a little worrisome.
“It’s weird all the vehicles are home,” I mutter.
Damn. What’s going on now? I can’t take more bad news today. Mom didn’t seem sick the last time we spoke. For that matter, Dad didn’t either. I park but before I can shut the truck off, Tillie’s hand moves over mine. I look over at her immediately.
