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“I’m safe to touch now?” I ask, feeling bitter because she hasn’t tried to touch me once since I carried her off the field.
My words hurt. I see the way she flinches. She moistens her lips and tries to pull her hand away, but I don’t let her. I move so that I hold it tightly. She’s not taking it away from me. She’s not leaving me. Tillie lets out a sigh.
“Damn it,” she whispers. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle, Ryder.”
“You think?” I mutter, some of the tightness leaving my chest.Jesus.
“I should have waited to talk to you.”
“Damn straight,” I rumble.
She turns to look at me and there’s sadness in her eyes. “It’s not fair to you, I know, Ryder. The thing is, Emily was involved and right or wrong—”
“Wrong.Verywrong.”
She lets out an annoyed breath. “Right or wrong, I don’t exactly think straight when she’s mentioned—”
“I can see that,” I allow, my heart finally starting to beat freely.
“I don’t like being around her, or breathing my air…”
“Buttons…”
“But apparently, I lose all rational thought when it comes to her being near you or even um… saying your name.”
I feel that knot inside of me start to unravel. I squeeze her hand. “You need to get over that, baby. I haven’t seen that bitch in years, and I don’t want to. She means nothing to me. You’re the only woman in my heart, Tillie.” Slowly, tears escape her eyes. All the tension leaves her body as she lets out a shaky breath.It’s going to be okay.“There’s my Buttons.”
“God, I’m sorry, Ryder. I just love you so much. Before she called, I was so happy planning in my head on how to go about moving out there and finding work so we could start our lives together. Then, she was on the phone. It felt like my world was being ripped out from under me again—only it was so much worse this time. This time, I knew what I would lose, and it felt like it was killing me.”
“Hold up. Youloveme?”
“I’ve always loved you, Ryder. You know that.”
“No, baby. I didn’t. You never once told me that you love me.”
“Then, you weren’t paying attention, Ryder. A girl doesn’t keep a guy’s jersey and sleep in it every night for years if love isn’t involved.”
“You love me.”
She nods.
She loves me.
I let go of her hand, get out of the car and walk around to her. She’s out before I get there, but that works for me. I take her in my arms, and pull her to me, taking her mouth and reassuring myself that this isn’t a dream. The feeling of her tongue sliding against mine, just as hungry—just as desperate—for reassurance, is the sweetest damn thing that I’ve ever felt in my life.
We’re both struggling to drag air into our lungs by the time the kiss ends.
“I’m going to spank your ass again for putting me through this shit later,” I mutter, as they walk toward the front door hand in hand.
“I said I was sorry,” she grumbles.
“That’s not good enough.” I use my key to unlock the door and call out. “Mom? You here? Where is everyone?”
“I hear them,” Tillie whispers. I nod. I do too, so I figure they’re coming here. So, I don’t move.
“You’re moving to Texas?” I ask, praying like hell that I didn’t imagine her saying that.
“If I can find a job, yeah.”
