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“I don’t blame you. I wish I could have slammed the door in the officers’ faces and pretend it wasn’t real. Telling the kids was the worst. Even then, I don’t think they really understood. It took a few weeks for them to stop asking me when he was coming back.”
Landon sighed and pulled his hand away.
Hailey looked at the spot where his hand had been on her arm and realized how comforting it had been. She couldn’t explain why, but she wished he would put it back. “I didn’t mean to tell you all that, but I’m glad I did. My family has been supportive, and friends too. No one understands, though. No one had Kyle in their life every single moment of every single day.” She looked at Landon. “No one but you. The two of you were closer than anyone I know.”
“We were. I never had a brother, and Kyle was like that. Except maybe closer because we didn’t have the baggage of growing up together and fighting. I’ll always miss him, but I’m thankful that I got to have him in my life.”
She nodded. “That’s a nice way to look at it. I’m sure he felt the same way about you.”
“But, Hailey, you have to stop talking negatively about yourself. You’re an incredible mom, and you’re doing great with the situation you’ve had to walk through. I know you don’t see yourself as the leader of the family, because Kyle did that so well, but you’ve stepped up and done what needed to be done. Don’t ever say that he would be disappointed in you because that wasn’t in his vocabulary.”
Hailey looked up at him and held his gaze for a moment. “Thanks, Landon. I think I needed to hear that.”
“I’m happy to tell you because it’s true.” He sighed. “Well, I’m sorry that we are at a place where we have to talk about this, but I actually feel a little better. This grief has been hard, but it’s comforting to know we aren’t in it alone.”
The words surprised Hailey, but it surprised her more that it was true. “You’re right. I’m sorry you lost your best friend. We enjoyed having you here tonight. I never meant to shut you out. If I did, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I kept my distance for too long. But I realized that it wasn’t just Kyle I missed. Your family was a big part of my life, and I’ve missed that. I want to help, but I didn’t know that I actually needed to be here for me too. I’ll always miss Kyle, but you and the kids are here, and I don’t want to miss you.”
9
Landon sipped his coffee as he walked across the parking lot early Saturday morning. If someone had told him he would be attending a gymnastics meet that day, he would have laughed in their face.
But when Charlotte asked him if he would come watch her do her floor routine, he said yes before he could even think about it. Her little blue eyes were so sweet and innocent as she pleaded with him, that it was impossible to say anything else. Still, he was used to watching soccer games or basketball or football. He didn’t know what to expect from little girls’ gymnastics.
“Hey, Landon,” Hailey’s voice drew his attention the moment he walked through the gymnasium door. She waved him over to where she stood with Carter and Ellie near the entrance to the gym.
“Morning,” he said cheerily. “How is everybody?”
Hailey smiled but blew out a big breath. “We’re here, but it’s a feat.”
“You should be the one getting a medal. It’s just me, and I had to drag myself out of bed. Getting three kids up and ready before eight a.m. is incredible. You’re amazing.”
Hailey’s cheeks flushed pink, and he realized he was paying her a compliment. It felt nice to say that about her. She was amazing, and he wanted to tell her that. His heart beat out a funny rhythm as he realized how true that was.
“Thanks,” she said. “Charlotte’s out there warming up. We have about twenty minutes before they start, so we should go get our seats.”
“Perfect. Come on, guys,” Landon held the door open and gave Carter a nudge. Ellie made her way beside him and slipped her hand in his. He held on tight to the little girl as they moved through the crowd of people. “Woah,” he said as they found seats in the bleachers. “I had no idea this many people would be here.”
Hailey smiled. “I think there’s about a hundred gymnasts competing in this session. And that’s just her level and age group. So multiply that by parents, grandparents, and siblings, and it’s a lot of people.”
“Cool. So I don’t know much about this. Will you explain it to me as we go along?” Landon asked.
“I think you’ll figure it out. I’ll tell you when Charlotte’s about to compete on each event. Just cheer for her when she’s done, and you’ll be just fine.”
He gave her a thumbs-up. “That I can do.” He looked over at Carter. “So do we get snacks at these things?”
Carter scrunched his face. “Mom brought fruit and water in her bag.”
Landon cut his eyes to Hailey and she shrugged.
“That’s awesome. You need healthy snacks to help you grow and be strong, especially if you want to be an awesome soccer player.”
Carter gave him a look that said he knew that was a line.
“Did you bring some for me? I love fruit and water.”
Hailey pressed her lips together to stifle a laugh as she nodded. “Plenty for everyone.” She mouthed, “Thank you,” for only him to see.
