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“How fucking long, Aubrey?” he repeated with a much deeper voice.
“You don’t understand,” I pleaded with him.
“You have five seconds to make me understand or I’m going inside and laying him the fuck out for putting his hands on you,” he violently spewed.
“Stay out of it, McGraw.”
He shook his head, understanding my simple yet pungent statement. “Jesus Christ, Bree, you’re ok with this? You want this?”
I bowed my head in shame. “You have no idea.”
He stepped away from me, moving my hand off his heart. It took everything inside me to not grab his hand and place it over my heart so he could see what it was doing to me.
I didn’t want to lose his love, his warmth, his comfort.
“Why? Why are you doing this after everything? You know, I’m still fucking here. Right here, I’m not the one who left. I’m not the one who walked away from our love. I still fucking love you! I love you so damn much. I can’t even breathe when I think about all the years we’ve spent apart, Aubrey.”
“Please, don’t—”
“WHY?” he yelled, making me jolt.
“You know why,” I replied even though I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t tell him the truth.
“Un-fucking-believable. You blame me for that day, and yet here you are with a man that fucking hurts you. You gotta be fucking shittin’ me, Bree.” He paced back and forth, making me even more anxious.
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything.
“I can’t even look at you right now. Do you have any idea how much that kills me? I haven’t seen you in four years, four goddamn years and yet you’re still the first and last thing I think about every single day. I’m reminded daily of what I lost.”
Tears slid down my face. His words were like a double-edged sword, causing me pain and euphoria simultaneously.
“I can’t tell you how profusely fucking sorry I am, Bree. How I have to live with the fact that I urged you to go by yourself. That I let that son of a bitch take away what was mine. What fucking belonged to me. I was the one who allowed him to do all that, Bree, I failed to protect you!” He slapped his chest. “I hate myself for what I let happen to you. I have to live with that guilt and without you for the rest of my life,” he hesitated, letting his words linger.
“Are you punishing me, Bree? Is that what you’re doing? Trying to rip my fucking heart out… again? Cause if you are, it’s workin’.”
“No,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear.
He got close to my ear and murmured, “Then why does it fucking feel that way?” he gritted out through clenched teeth.
His warm breath lingered there for a second, sending shivers straight to my core. I loved and hated the effect he still had on me. Then he turned and walked away from me, slamming the door behind him. The entire garage rumbled, making me jump.
I stood there, waiting.
It didn’t take long for my punishment to come.
DYLAN
I went to the bathroom, sick to my fucking stomach.
Alex told me time and time again that Aubrey had changed since she got with Jeremy. I assumed the real reason was the rape, that it finally took its toll. I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I saw her that night she was still so breathtakingly beautiful, but it wasn’t her.
It didn’t matter how many times Jeremy held her, whispered in her ear, showed her any kind of affection or love. She would press her nails into the palm of her hand and her eyes would lower to the ground. At first I thought I imagined it, but when he casually gripped her arm and she winced in pain I had to leave the room. The confirmation of my suspicions was too much to bear. I was going to fucking kill him if I didn’t walk away.
I never expected her to follow me out to the garage.
I never thought she would blatantly admit it.
I never imagined that my nightmare would play out in front of my very own eyes and I couldn’t do one thing about it.
