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“Un-fucking-believable. I loved you. I still fucking love you and you stand there and defend this piece of shit?”
She swallowed hard her resolve breaking.
“I guess I really never knew you at all,” I bit.
She shut her eyes. I could physically feel her pain in the distance between us. I took one last look at her before kicking Jeremy in the stomach, peering down at him with disgust.
“Mark my words, motherfucker, one day I’m going to fucking kill you,” I snapped, barely being able to hold back the desire to do it right then and there.
I grabbed Lily’s hand and led her out through the side door. She halted as soon as we were a few feet away.
“What are you doing? We can’t leave her in there. We have to tell someone. You have to arrest him. Go back in there, Dylan!” She was hysterical.
I clenched my teeth. “I don’t have a choice.”
“Why?”
“Lily, just pretend you didn’t see that tonight. Do you understand? For me. Do it for me,” I pleaded, looking in her eyes.
“You can’t ask me to do that.”
“I’m not asking,” I lightly warned.
“Dylan, I—”
“Lily, you know I love you. Don’t make me say it. We both know what I’m talking about. I’ve kept my mouth quiet, now it’s time for you to return the favor.”
She was taken back by what she knew I implied, Jacob and their secret of whatever the fuck they were doing behind everyone’s backs for the last few years. The last thing she wanted was for Lucas to find out or anyone else for that matter.
I nodded, feeling bad, and kissed her forehead. I didn’t stay around to see the confused and hurt look on her face. I had too much plaguing my own thoughts and emotions that I could barely fucking see two feet in front of me. I went straight to the bar and took four shots of bourbon, one right after the other. Welcoming the warm burn it left in its wake. I poured a drink and walked into the backyard. I needed to get myself together before I went around anyone. By the time I made it back inside, Aubrey and Jeremy were just leaving. They said their goodbyes and I watched every single step Aubrey took, praying that she would turn back and run into my arms. Hoping that I would see some recognition of the woman she used to be.
Nothing.
27
Dylan
It didn’t take long for the inevitable to happen.
Almost a year later Lucas’ mom lay on her deathbed, surrounded by her loved ones. Family and friends flew in to say their last goodbyes. I tried to be there for Lucas and Lily. I could tell he was barely hanging on by a thread, and she rarely left her mom’s side. Not that I could blame either one of them. I dealt with things differently, I always had. I still dreaded the afternoon when it was my turn to have my time with her.
To say goodbye to a woman who had been like a mom to me.
I was always the strongest among us boys. It was the role I took on as a child, but I felt anything but that when I walked into her room to say my last goodbye. Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that surged through my body, heart, and mind.
“Dylan-fuckin’-McGraw,” she rasped, making me laugh.
Bringing me back to the day she washed my mouth with soap when I was eight after she heard me say fuck to the boys.
She lovingly smiled, patting the side of the bed for me to sit. I took a deep breath, taking in her frail body where she lay about to say her last words to me.
“You have always been such a good boy and now you’re an even better man.”
“Yeah…”
“You know, Dylan, sometimes in life things happen that we can’t control. That we don’t understand. But it doesn’t matter because it still fucking sucks,” she drawled, trying to talk like me.
I chuckled.
