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She was all I had.
My best friend, my family, my inside and out.
We tried making it a point to talk on the phone every night at exactly eight o’clock, no matter what. Both of us needing to check in with one another, mostly for our own peace of mind. It made things easier, knowing someone else in the universe loved and cared for you.
When you’re told on a daily basis you’re worthless, you’ll amount to nothing, and no one gives a flying fuck about you.
It’s hard to tell yourself not to believe it.
To fight for a better tomorrow, a brighter future, a home.
Bailey would be my home, and I’d be hers. I’d make it happen, I had to.
For the both of us.
“Aiden, where are we going?” Bailey whined, tugging on my hand to slow down. Trying to get me to answer for what felt like the hundredth time in a matter of minutes. It became evident early on that my girl had no patience, and I swear she only got worse as the years went on.
I checked on her surprise I’d been working on in the woods, before I got relocated again, making sure it was still good to go. Trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, until I actually got to see her standing in front of me, unharmed.
Since the first time we got separated and I could no longer make sure she was alright by seeing her and making sure she was safe, Bailey picked up the habit of making everything seem fine when it wasn’t. So she wouldn’t worry me, never realizing her well-being always worried me.
Our lives were far from fine, and no amount of bullshit coming from her mouth would ever make me think otherwise.
But my girl had a heart of gold, and because of that she’d hide things from me all the time. Like the time one of her foster guardians slapped her across the face for accidentally throwing his cigarettes out. When he should have been grateful she was cleaning up the piss-poor excuse of a roof he claimed he was providing over her head.
She lied, telling me she fell off the bed she shared with two other girls, knowing I’d lose my shit if I knew the truth. Except, Bailey couldn’t lie worth shit. I saw right through it, I always did. Although that didn’t stop her half-ass attempts of trying to keep stuff from me.
Case in point, I had to see her with my own two eyes to believe her.
Needing to make sure she was really fine, and she wasn’t just trying to blow smoke up my ass.
“Bay, don’t worry about it. How many times do I have to tell you? When you’re with me, you never have to worry about anything. I got you, Bay.” I turned and winked at her, squeezing her hand in reassurance. “I always got you. Me and you against the world, remember?”
She beamed with a familiar gleam in her eyes that got me through the hard nights. Thinking about Bailey’s smile, her laugh, the way she lit up just for me … that shit got me through a lot of nights, a lot of days, a lot of everything.
I smiled at her one last time and continued walking through the dark woods as she followed close behind, carefully stepping in my tracks.
Mother Nature chose Christmas Eve to unleash her wintery fury in North Carolina, practically shutting down the whole state. The ground was covered in frost, blanketed by a dusting of snow while huge, soft flakes fell from the night’s sky. The frozen fluff crunched under our boots with each step we treaded deeper into the forest. I held her hand tighter so she wouldn’t slip on the fallen branches coated with a thin layer of ice.
“Aiden, I have to tell you something,” she uttered out of nowhere.
My heart dropped, and I stopped dead in my tracks, causing her body to collide with mine. Fearing the worst.
She instantly called me out on it, “No! It’s not anything like that.” Turning me to face her, fully aware of where my mind went to first.
One of my biggest fears was that Bailey would get molested or raped by a foster guardian or a foster sibling. Which happened to kids…
All. The. Time.
“Bay, don’t start sentences like that,” I stated, my tone still shaken up.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. And it’s Christmas and you’re here, and I just… I don’t… I mean…”
I grabbed her chin, rubbing my thumb against her cheek through the worn, tattered hole in my glove. “What’s up, Bay? You can tell me anything.”
“I know. It’s just…” Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears. “I don’t have a gift for you, Aiden. I’m sorry. I was going to buy you a new hoodie from the thrift store down on Main since you gave me the only one you own when it started getting cold out. But I couldn’t save enough money from walking Nina’s dog from next door.”
My eyes shifted to the hoodie she was talking about. It looked more like a dress on Bailey, but it kept her warm which was all that mattered. She had less clothes than I did, everything she owned was very worn hand-me-downs and not in good shape by any means.
