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Besides, I loved seeing her in my clothes.
It always did something to me.
“Bay, how many times do I have to tell you to stop walking that damn dog? It walks you. I don’t need a gift from you. I’ll have some extra money next time to hold you over until I see you again.”
“Aiden, you can’t keep giving me money. I need to make my own. You don’t earn that much as it is with whatever you end up doing. It’s not fair—”
The expression on my face was enough to render her speechless. “I’m just saying…” she muttered loud enough for me to hear.
“I know what you’re saying, and I’m sorry, Bay, but I don’t give a fuck. I’m going to give you money, and you’re going to take it. Just because you’re wearing layers of clothing, doesn’t mean I can’t tell you’ve lost more weight. Are those motherfuckers even feeding you?”
“There’s ten of us in the house now, and—”
“Ten?! They took in more kids? Of course, they did, greedy fucks,” I breathed out, trying to control my temper. Not letting the reality of our lives ruin the moment I wanted to have with her.
The one I’d been dreaming of since the first time she shared her plate of food with me under the green slide.
“Aiden, they’re younger and need more food than I do.”
“You know what I need, Bay? I need you alive.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“And you’re downplaying the situation like you always do with everything.”
She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes at me. “Fine. I’ll eat more, will that make you stop giving me money?”
“No, but nice try.”
“Oh. My. God! You’re impossible! Do you even hear yourself? We’re supposed to take care of each other, remember? But all you do is take care of me. How’s that fair to you?”
“Since when is anything fair to us? I take care of you because I can, because I want to, because one day, we won’t live in this bullshit, and you’ll always know I took care of you because I lo—” I stopped myself. This wasn’t how I envisioned the night going down. Not by a longshot. I rubbed the back of my neck, my muscles tensed immediately. “Bailey, you know that shit doesn’t matter to me. It’s money. You, matter to me.”
Her deep stare was so penetrating, so intense, that I couldn’t break it. I couldn’t move my eyes from hers even if I wanted to, and I didn’t want to. I never did. The times with Bailey, whether good or bad, were the only ones I had to look back on when I needed a sense of hope.
A sense of belonging.
When I needed love.
When I just needed…
Her.
“Come on.” I nodded toward the faint glow of lights in the distance. Smiling back at her, breaking the sudden tension between us. “We’re almost there.”
“This isn’t over.”
“Yes, it is.”
Before she could reply, I started walking the uneven ground again, tugging her behind me. I spent all my money, from working jobs that paid me under the table, on this surprise and didn’t think twice about it. I wanted her to have this special moment, to see it, to feel it, for her to experience Christmas for once in her life.
It didn’t take long until we approached a small clearing where the snow continued to raise beneath our feet. The look on her face the second she saw I had turned part of the woods into a winter wonderland was the only gift I needed this Christmas.
“Aiden, I can’t believe you did this,” she whispered, completely caught off guard. Her eyes shifted from all the colorful lights strung around the trees, to the makeshift Christmas tree I found thrown away on a curb. Decorated with soda cans and string lights. To the plastic snowman I found thrown away on another curb.
I watched her walk around the open space, grazing her bare fingers along the lights with a beaming smile on her face. Twirling around as the snow fell upon her. Bailey captivated me all the time, consuming me with her beauty, her quirks, her loving personality that shined through since we were young.
Making her presence known whether she realized it or not. Part of me knew she was conscious of the effect she had on me. It didn’t matter what she was doing, my eyes followed her everywhere, constantly waiting for her to do something else that would make me fall in love with her just a little bit more.
