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But I didn’t have to tell him if I got rid of the pregnancy, I reasoned with myself. It was my body, after all, and it was my choice whether to remain pregnant or not. I was only a few weeks along, which meant it was probably very uncomplicated to terminate the pregnancy right now. No one needed to know, and it didn’t need to become a thing that affected my life. I didn’t even need to tell my mom.
It was a seemingly simple solution. So why wasn’t my heart settled? Why the hell did I feel so sick at the thought?
A knock sounded at the door, and I glanced up. I already knew who it was. Mom wouldn’t be here to apologize, and Dad was asleep. Which meant it was probably Casey trying to build bridges and make sure everyone was okay.
I was proven right a few seconds later when his voice came through, sounding unsure. “Hey, Charlie. Are you okay? You’re not doing anything stupid, are you?”
I smiled despite the situation. “You think I’m what…drowning myself in the toilet?”
“I dunno.” He pushed the door open, and his worried face appeared through the crack. “You seemed pretty upset back there.”
“Yeah.” There was no denying it when I was yelling like a banshee. Mom just knew the right buttons to push.
I hated arguing with anyone or letting my temper get me to the point where I was yelling because now I had a headache on top of everything. On the bright side, the nausea had subsided. “I’m sorry I abandoned you last night, though. I really didn’t mean to.”
“Yeah, I know.” He sat beside me awkwardly and reached out to pat my back. “There, there.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you doing?”
“They say this is what you’re supposed to do when someone is hurting.” He smiled. “Am I doing it right?”
I laughed at his adorable awkwardness. “Yeah, you’re a real pro at crying women.” I kissed him on the cheek, which he also accepted awkwardly. Somehow, his mannerisms reminded me a little of his father last night. Even when I ran my hand over his chest, and he patted my back comfortingly, I could tell he wasn’t used to tenderness.
Thinking of Zane inevitably reminded me of my problem, though.
I sighed and then succumbed to my thoughts once again. Should I tell Zane about the pregnancy even though I had no intention of keeping it? How would he react? Would he be mad and then retreat to his cold shell? Or would he be happy and supportive?
I didn’t know.
There were two images of him in my head in his head now, and it was difficult to reconcile the two. Or to know who he really was, especially after hearing his story. My heart ached for a man who’d lost his best friend and then his wife not too long after. He’d lost his parents a long time ago too. He hadn’t spoken about it, but the mention of foster care told me they were probably gone.
He’s been through so much.
But a part of me still couldn’t forgive him for being the callous husband who’d driven my sister to her death. Who didn’t answer when she reached out to him for help.
And now I was pregnant with his baby too. God, the whiplash was going to drive me crazy.
“You want to talk about it?” Casey asked, pulling me back from my morose thoughts.
I shook my head. “No. I just did a stupid, stupid thing.”
“With Zane?” My nephew was as perceptive as ever as he watched me.
I smiled weakly, my face flushing with embarrassment. “Kinda. You didn’t tell Mom and Dad that I went to see Zane last night, did you?”
He shook his head. “No, but I think they figured it out anyway.”
“Right,” I said. At least they hadn’t yet figured out who the boyfriend was.
“You guys didn’t break up because of me, did you?” Casey asked cautiously in a quiet tone.
“What? No.” I whipped around and faced him in alarm. Was he feeling guilty about that? “We were never even dating in the first place. And even if we were, nothing would be your fault. He’s the one who canceled at the last minute like an ass.”
“Yeah, right. But I know you’re dating,” he scoffed. “I wasn’t born yesterday, you know.”
He wiggled his eyebrows, causing me to roll my eyes and shove him a little.
“We were never dating,” I said firmly. “I could never date a guy like that.”
