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“He hates me,” I said matter-of-factly. “But I knew that already.” The man thought I had killed his daughter, and I could see the overwhelming hatred in his eyes. I could understand it. It was the same way I felt about whoever killed Toby.
If the culprit were in my face right now, I would murder him, and there would be no qualms about it.
“We’ll work it out,” I said, wanting to take every shred of worry from her. “I’ll win him over.”
“How?” she asked with a frown.
“Well, I know hatred, and I know revenge. But I can be pretty charming when I want to be.” And also, I wouldn’t quit trying until I finally won him over. “Go back to your mom.”
She nodded and finally turned around, heading back. I continued out of the hospital, trying to figure out where a distraught teenager would go.
Well, if I were him, I would feel betrayed by everyone who kept the secret from me. And I would want as much distance from them as possible, but at the same time, I wouldn’t want to leave without making sure my grandpa was okay. I would hang out somewhere far enough that I could still find out the news.
I spotted Casey when I went to the parking lot, his lanky frame sitting behind one of the pillars. I saw his shoulders tense as I approached, and he immediately drew his feet up.
When I was near enough, he turned to glare at me. “What do you want?”
“Came to find you,” I said.
He turned away before muttering, “Well, you found me. Now go away.”
I knew how to do a lot of things. I could show you three different ways to take down a bigger opponent in the ring and how to hotwire a car in six seconds. But crying teenagers sent me out of my depth. As I watched the boy, I didn’t know what to say.
“Listen, kid…”
“Kid?” He turned to glare at me again. “Really? You’re still going to call me that after everything?”
“I don’t know what else to call you.”
“How about my name…Casey,” he said. “Or, I don’t know, maybe you can call me your son!” The words were thrown as an attack, like a grenade. He glared at me as he continued, “Or are you going to deny that too?”
“I never denied it,” I said. “The only reason I never told you is because….”
“Charlie asked you not to.”
I wasn’t going to tell him that. I was going to make up something else because I didn’t want to throw her under the bus. It was fine for him to direct his hatred and anger at me but not at his aunt.
Despite that, as Casey glared daggers at me, I knew he already knew the truth. “I heard some of what you guys were talking about the other time when we first met. She didn’t want you to tell me something.” He shook his head. “I didn’t understand it then, but it all makes sense now.”
“She just didn’t want to hurt you,” I told him. “She didn’t want to cause all this to happen.”
“Yeah, because Grandpa and Grandma hate you.” He shook his head. “You killed my mom?”
I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t the best husband to your mother. I’ll admit that. But I never killed her, and I never raised a finger at her.”
“So why does Grandpa hate you so much, huh? Why does he say that you killed her?”
“Because he doesn’t understand the entire story,” I explained. I wasn’t going to bad-mouth his mother to the boy either. He turned to look at me again, and seeing his expression, I knew I had to give him a shred of the truth. “How much did they tell you about your mother?”
He shrugged and replied, “Not much. Grandma gets weepy whenever we talk about her, and Grandpa gets mad. Charlie tried to tell me some stuff, like the fact that she was pretty and all, but she wouldn’t tell me who my dad was or anything. And then I found out by accident that my mom…ki—killed herself after she had me.”His voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and my heart hurt for the boy. “Charlie doesn’t know I know this. I overheard Mom telling her that that was the reason she didn’t want Charlie to date. She didn’t want Charlie to go through the same thing.”
“Your mother’s death had nothing to do with you,” I told him because I wouldn’t have him believing he’d hurt his mother. “Your mother had a lot of emotional issues before you came along. I neglected them because, frankly, I didn’t know what to do about it. I was also emotionally unavailable, which didn’t make it any better.” I hung my head. “That was my failure.”
He stared at me for a long time as though he wasn’t sure how to feel. And then he looked away. I took the time to sit beside him, waiting. I didn’t care if he yelled at me some more or if he rejected me. I just wanted him to know I was here if he ever needed me. From now on, I would always be here in whatever capacity he wanted me.
“Did you cheat on her?” he asked in a quiet tone, and I saw his face was cleared of most of its animosity. He just wanted to understand a secret that had been kept from him for his whole life.
I shook my head. “Never. I just…” I said, trying to figure out how to explain. “I grew up in foster care. I never had anything like a family, and the only person I cared about, who was like a brother to me, well, he…died. Because of me. I carried that with me for the rest of my life, even after I married your mother. I loved your mother, but I couldn’t open myself up to her. I had just lost the only person who ever mattered to me, and I guess I was scared it would happen again. With her.”
