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“Shhh. You’re not an idiot.” He gives me another kiss on the temple and runs his hands from the top of my head down to my shoulders. “Let’s get you away from here so you can calm down.” He places an arm around my shoulders and guides me to the nearest trailer. Once inside, he barks orders, “Everyone out. No one is to disturb us.” The crew scurries out, no one questioning why they’ve been asked to leave. Sitting me down on a bench seat, he crouches in front of me. He cups my face and kisses my cheek. “Are you okay?”
Just having him near me—holding me—has made things better. “Yes, thank you.”
He rubs his hands up and down my arms. “You’ve stopped shaking. That’s good.”
Finn’s hands rest on my shoulders. It’s like we’ve stepped back in time when Finn once looked at me with love and concern, ready to slay dragons, or in my case, fluffy, white dogs, to take away my fear. God, I miss those days. Misshim. I want to curl up in his arms and never let him go again. Tears of regret trickle down my cheeks.
“Hey, don’t cry. The dogs can’t get you now,” Finn says, mistaking the reason for my tears. He brushes them away with his thumbs. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I give a ghost of a smile. “I can’t understand why such small dogs make me react like that. They could barely reach past my ankles.” With his hands still on my face, his thumbs float over my jaw, making my head spin. Having Finn touch me again with compassion is overwhelming. More tears fall.
“I can.” Finn sweeps the hair from my shoulder and twists the scarf off around my neck, tossing it on the bench. With his finger, he traces the pale scar. “Doesn’t matter the size of the dog. What you went through was horrific.”
At the memory of the attack, I shudder. Finn rises from his crouched position and sits by my side. Lifting an arm, he places it over my shoulders, pulling me closer. The warmth of his body comforts me like a warm blanket. His first instinct is to always protect me. Whether or not he likes me. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed.
There was a time when I had to protect him too. Protect him from his father’s secrets and Derek’s vindictiveness.
Finn’s hand caresses my hair. If I close my eyes and don’t say a word, I can imagine all the animosity he’s felt for me during the past couple of days is gone. Laying my head on his shoulder, I sigh long and deep, wanting to soak up the moment before it ends.
“Things really got fucked up.” His chin rests on the top of my head. Another onslaught of tears threatens to spill.
I don’t even try to pretend I don’t know what he’s talking about. “I know saying sorry can never undo the damage I caused. The pain…”
His fingers pause at my neck. “What’s done is done.” I feel his body stiffen against me, and I wonder if he really means what he’s saying.
Pulling away, I twist in my seat. If I told him the full story, it would cause major problems with his father. Probably tear their relationship apart. As much as I loathe Mr. Alessi, Finn has had enough loss in his life. I sat with him after his mother died while he cried in my arms. I can’t watch him lose another parent. But if I tell him some of it, maybe he’ll eventually stop hating me.
“Finn, I want to tell you—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” he says flatly, cutting me off.
“But—”
“Look, I don’t want to talk. All I’ve wanted to do from the moment you dropped that bolt of fabric on the floor is to fucking touch you. Kiss you. Dive so far into you I forget where I am, who I am, and what you’ve done. I hate that I want you so much. But I do. Every minute of the fucking day I want you. I don’t know what to do about it.” He screws up his face as if it’s causing him pain to admit it.
His words are far from romantic. Painful even. I shouldn’t want this—not this way. Whenever Finn came to me in my dreams, it was with love and longing. Not anguish. Not this tug of war between desire and hate. Yet, I want him to do all those things to me. I’mdesperatefor those things. “Kiss me.” This should feel wrong—him wanting me like this, but my yearning for him beats logic. Maybe I’ll regret it. Maybe I won’t. I’m willing to take the risk.
With hooded eyes, he asks, “Are you sure?”
I’m unbuttoning my coat and shrugging out of it. The room suddenly feeling like a balmy summer day. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Finn pulls off his beanie, tossing it on the floor, revealing his brown, flat hair. Next, he removes his coat. It too gets thrown on the floor. Left in a dark green pullover that brings out the color of his eyes and faded denim jeans, he makes my mouth water.
Clutching my face in his hands, he presses his mouth to my lips. He angles his head, swipes his tongue into my mouth, and deepens the kiss. This kiss doesn’t feel punishing like the one he gave me in the club. This one seems more desperate. Wanting. Urgent. Yet, still not the tender, passionate kisses from the past.
Our tongues twirl in each other’s mouths with our lips sealed together, and I can barely breathe. My chest is heaving as I press closer to Finn. He slides a hand between our bodies and massages my breast through my top. At the sheer pleasure of his hand on me, my head falls back, and I let out a low moan. An explosion of sensations is traveling through me like the speed of light from my head to my toes.
Finn replaces his hand with his mouth. Mumbling, he says, “Your tits are bigger than I remember. They’re beautiful.” I suck in a gasp as he lifts my sweater up and licks over the lace of my bra from one peaked nipple to the other. “I could never get enough.” He pays tribute to each breast, licking, sucking, and caressing until my body trembles with need. I grab my sweater and pull it over my head, giving him the hint that I need to take this further.
Thankfully, he knows what I want and stands up to remove his top as I kick off my boots and socks and shuffle out of my jeans, leaving me in only my bra and panties. The heating in the trailer isn’t exactly piping hot, but with the way Finn is looking at me, my body is burning up. He slowly unbuttons the fly of his jeans and leaves it hanging open low from his hips. He tosses a foil packet on the bench next to me. I know where this is going. And I need it.
Shuffling along the bench, I give him room to join me. He pushes me onto my back and kneels between my legs. Nudging my knees to open wider, he nestles himself over me. He gives me open-mouth kisses at my neck, my pulse kicking up with speed. Soon he’s venturing down to my breasts; they feel so trapped in my bra. He moves lower, skimming over my stomach and taking soft bites of my hip. I wiggle under him, so desperate for something! Anything!
When he gets to the V between my legs, he tilts his head up, looks me in the eye, and smiles—a smile so hot and sinful it practically melts off my panties. I barely have time to catch my breath when he pushes my panties aside and covers me with his mouth. As he flicks his tongue over my sensitive bud, my hips buck off the bench. “Oh God. Finn,” I cry. My legs fall further apart like they’ve lost all muscle. “Feels…so…good,” I pant, tunneling my hands in his hair.
The sweet torture of his mouth is making me want to hold his head there for hours while he fucks me with his tongue. But my body is trembling, ready to come. It’s been years since I’ve been touched like this, and I don’t know how much more I can take.
Finn hooks my leg over his shoulder to delve in deeper. My head tosses from side to side, no longer able to take the beautiful torture anymore. “Finn, I’m going to…to…” When he continues lapping me up like I’m his favorite ice cream, I tug at his hair. He stares up at me with glassy eyes. “I can’t take much more.” My voice sounds low and husky.
