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Sliding himself up my body, he kisses me long and deep, and I taste myself on his tongue. Our bodies twining together, I melt against him, feeling at home in his arms. Like this is where I’m meant to be. Where I’vealwaysmeant to be. This is too good to be true. Am I dreaming? If so, I never want to wake up.
I don’t dwell on that thought for long because his erection is pressing against my inner thigh. My hands skim over his broad shoulders, down his toned back, and slide between our bodies until I feel the bulge pressing against the fabric of his underwear. Slipping my hand under the waistband, I clutch his hard length, my thumb ghosting over the tip.
“Oh fuck. You’re going to kill me.” He squeezes his eyes shut and groans as I stroke him. He slowly pumps in my fist, then faster. I want him inside of me. Now!
“I’m not going to last much longer.” I whimper as my hips, like they have a mind of their own, are thrust toward his penis.
Finn pulls back and stares at me. “God, I want you, Harper. So much.” My heart ripples with happiness at his confession.
“I want you too.” Every day of my life I’ve wanted this man.
“This is so messed up,” he says, his voice sounding strained.
The words spear through my heart. I should remove myself from under him, get dressed, and walk out, forgetting all the feelings and desires I have fighting their way to the surface. But my good sense lays dormant, my conscience suddenly keeping quiet.
If this is all I can get from Finn, I’ll take it. I’ve spent years not getting what I want. This moment right now is what I want. I’ll deal with the consequences later. I’ll never get Finn back. Never have the life we planned. I’ve lived too long without this connection. This moment is mine, and I’m taking it.
“Let’s not overthink it and just have this moment.” I want to addfor the love we lost,for the lives that were meant to be. Forus. But I keep the words to myself.
If his mind and body are battling over what to do, it doesn’t take long for him to make up his mind. His lips slams against mine. Not for the first time today knocking the breath from my lungs. Finn then pulls back, fumbling for something on the bench. A condom. Something we’ve never used before. We’d only ever slept with each other, and I’d been on the pill. Things are so different now. The knife keeps twisting deeper in my heart.
Not bothering to pull his underwear or jeans off, he shuffles them down enough past his hips to roll on the condom. I’m fascinated by the act. Fascinated at the size of him. Fascinated at seeing his desire for me again. Wet heat pools between my legs, and I squirm.
Pulling my panties down my legs and tossing them on the floor, Finn kneels between my legs. Our eyes lock, his gaze piercing through me. Something is missing. There’s something about the way he looks at me that doesn’t seem right. I don’t have time to dwell on it, because Finn drops his hands on my knees and spreads my legs further apart. With a quick, hard thrust, he enters me. I cry out with a mixture of pleasure and pain. It’s been so long, and with his size, I need a moment to adjust.
Finn stills, sensing my discomfort. “Are you okay?”
I bite my bottom lip and nod. After a few seconds, my muscles relax, and pleasure takes over from the pain.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groans into my neck, licking over my racing pulse.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I hook my ankles together like I don’t want to let him go, urging him to pump into me. My hands run over the hard planes of his back. His muscles quiver underneath my palms.
As he thrusts harder and deeper inside me, I clench around his cock. The pressure rising, I’m ready to explode. My body trembles, and I tilt up my pelvis and bite back a moan. “Finn…I’m almost there.”
“Let me give you a hand,” Finn says between deep, wet kisses. He slips his hand between our bodies and finds my clit, giving it a rub and a flick with his fingers.
“Finn!” I moan long and low as my body spasms and falls apart.
He pumps once, twice, three times, and cries out his release. Dropping on top of me, he holds his weight on his forearms. His warm breath fanning over my neck. My body is quivering. Feeling alive again. Reminding me how great sex with Finn is.
When our bodies stop shaking, Finn shifts onto his elbows. I can’t hold back the grin that spreads across my face. I feel amazing! When I chance a look at Finn, it soon drops when he stares back expressionless at me.
It finally hits me what’s missing from Finn’s eyes. It’s love and affection. Of course, it couldn’t be more obvious if I’d been hit over the head with a hammer. From the moment our paths crossed again, any affection was long gone. Getting so caught up in the moment, I ignored how he really feels about me. I turn my face away. I can’t bear to see any loathing he fires my way.
Chapter Fifteen
FINN
IpullawayfromHarper and turn my back on her. I remove tissues from a box sitting on the counter and use them to wrap up the condom, and I dispose of it in the trash under the counter. While I lift my pants and put my sweater back on, the sound of clothes rustling behind me tells me Harper’s getting dressed too.
What the hell am I doing? Things weren’t supposed to go this far. The dog incident had freaked her out so much, I was only supposed to calm her down. Instead, wanting to touch her, taste her, became more important than breathing. Nostalgia had blinded me to reality. Clouded my judgment. No matter how much Harper had fucked up my life, my body still wants her. But she did fuck up my life. I can’t pretend it never happened, nor do I want to forget, or I could end up falling back into the dark hole she left me in.
Scrubbing my hands through my hair, I turn back around. Harper is sitting on the edge of the bench seat, twisting her fingers together. God, she’s beautiful. My chest aches as I stare at her. I have to remind myself Harper is vindictive and uses people for her own benefit. Her sweet, gentle demeanor will not fool me again. I’m not a pushover anymore, and yet, the moment she’s in trouble, I’m at her side. What an idiot! I have to forget how natural she feels in my arms. Or how am I supposed to keep the rage that burns in my soul from fizzling out the second I get near her?
“We should get back to work,” I say, not quite meeting her eyes.Coward!
Harper rises, placing a hand on my arm. “Finn, we need to talk. Please.”
