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A few minutes pass and my crying subsides. I pull away and dry my face on the back of my sleeve. I’m sure I look like a mess. Feeling a little silly over my outburst, I give a sheepish smile and point to his damp shirt. “I’m sorry about that. I’ll get it dry-cleaned.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the shirt.” He swallows hard, pushes his fingers over his eyes, and with a strained voice asks, “Harper, did that bastard hurt you?”
I hang my head and tug at the bottom of my shirt. Yes, he hurt me. Taking me away from everything I loved. From the one person I loved the most. But I know that’s not what Finn’s asking.
When I don’t answer—can’t because my throat is tight—he says, “Earlier, did you think I was going to hit you?”
Looking him straight in the eye, he stares back at me like my answer is the only thing that matters. Like I could break him if I say yes. “No. I know you’d never do anything like that. It was just a reflex reaction.”
His shoulders slump on an exhale of breath. “No. Never in a million years would I lay a finger on you. I’d rather cut off my hands.”
“I’m sorry I made you think that.” I place a hand on his shoulder.
With a surprised look on his face, he says, “What do you have to be sorry for? Derek did this.Hehurt you. If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him!” A muscle twitches in his jaw.
Even with all the hate Finn has thrown my way, deep down there’s a part of him that still cares. My heart swells. “Derek never hit me,” I say to soothe him.
Finn narrows his eyes with disbelief. “So, why did you flinch when I raised my hand?” He must have tucked the engagement ring back in his pocket, because he’s no longer holding it. I wish he didn’t keep it as a reminder of the bad times.
I pull my legs up onto the sofa and tuck them under me. “Derek was very controlling. He told me what to wear and how to behave. I had to eat what he told me to, and he made me exercise every day. He was heavily into health and fitness and looking after himself. Which is ironic since his heart gave out.” I don’t feel a twinge of sorrow. Does that make me a bad person? “The only thing he couldn’t control were my feelings. He knew I loved you when we got married, yet he found it unbelievable that I didn’t fall madly in love with him. All women loved him, he said. They’d give up anything to be in my position. When he realized I didn’t worship the ground he walked on, he threw his affairs in my face. It frustrated him that I didn’t care. So, he started showing me all the women you were involved with. He’d smile with malicious glee as he gave me details.” I avert my eyes. “Trying to stay expressionless was a lot harder when I saw photos of you with other women. But I did it. Although it cut so deep to the point where I felt like I couldn’t breathe. After years of this and not getting the reaction he wanted from me, the derogative insults and verbal abuse got more intense. I knew if I gave in, and showed any emotion, he won. So, he…arhh…started…”
Finn holds onto my fidgeting hands; his are strong and warm. Linking our fingers together, he brings them to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
The comforting, loving gesture almost brings me to tears again. Not because of Derek’s horrible memories, but because I could see the old Finn again. The one who loved me. Cared for me. Would slay dragons for me. I never want this moment to end.
“It’s okay. I need to talk about it.” Gathering my thoughts for a moment, I continue. “Like I said, nothing he did got a rise from me. It frustrated him. He called me an emotionless bitch and a bunch of other names. He’d get right up in my face and yell at me. One night, he raised his fist. I was sure he was going to hit me. I think he wanted to, but at the last second, he punched a hole in the wall next to my head.”
“Fucking bastard!” Finn growls, not letting go of my hands. “What did you do?”
“I ran and locked myself in my room.”
“You still stayed after that? Protecting your family and me was more important than your safety?”
“After a couple more similar episodes, I knew I had to get out of there. It was only a matter of time before he’d replace the wall with my face. I was preparing to leave. My parents were dead. You were in London. I was going to warn you that something might happen. Then Derek died. You were safe. I was free.”
Gathering me to his chest, Finn wraps his arms around me. Rubbing his hands over my back, my body shudders. He presses his lips to my ear and whispers, “It’s over. It’s over.” The vibration of his deep voice and the caress has a calming effect on me.
Derek is out of my life forever. That part of my life is over.
I’m back in Finn’s arms but not back in his heart.
Chapter Nineteen
FINN
Harper’sbodytremblesagainstmine. I pull back slightly and cup her face in my hands, brushing my thumbs over her damp cheeks. What the hell did she put herself through? All because she wanted to protect her father—protectme. Fuck, I didn’t need protection. All I needed was Harper. We could have worked out everything else.
“You’re still mad at me.” She lowers her eyes, probably mistaking my tense body for anger.
Yes, I am angry. But not with Harper. Angry with the fucked-up situation. So angry with Derek it burns in my gut. “Not with you. Now that I know everything, I can understand why you left me. I don’t like it. Wish you would’ve come to me. But I understand. I’m glad I know the truth now.”
Harper’s gaze flicks away, and she rolls her lips inward. Is there something else she’s not telling me?
“Haveyou told the truth?” I ask.
She hesitates slightly before saying, “Yes.”
I search deep in her eyes for the truth, and she blinks rapidly, causing a spike of suspicion to coil in my gut. “Is there more?” There is something in her eyes, something that pokes a thread of doubt through me.
