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“You accused me of having an affair with your father. That’s what hurts the most. After everything we’ve been through, you didn’t think my love for you was real.”
“I know. I’m so fucking sorry. It all happened so suddenly, and my mind was a mess.”
I point a finger at him. “It’s because you never trusted me. You’ve been holding onto that, and at the first challenge in our relationship, you put that mistrust between us.” A single tear slides down my cheek. I swipe it away. “You broke my heart.”
Reaching for my hands again, he pulls back at the last second, probably realizing I’ll shake him off again. “I was wrong. What can I do to make it up to you? I’ll do anything. Please don’t walk away from us.”
My chest heaves. “Youwalked away from us.”
Finn scrubs his hands over his face. “Harper, I’m sorry.”
“If there’s no trust, what do we have?”
“I trust you.”
“You didn’t.”
“It was a mistake.”
“And what happens if life throws us some unfortunate hurdle? Will I be faced with accusations again?” Before he can answer with what he thinks I want to hear, I stand and open the door. “You promised me you’d let no one hurt me again. You’ve hurt me. Now, I don’t trust you.”
One month later, I’m sitting in a pizza restaurant, staring at my pepperoni pizza, wishing I was home in my sweats watching TV. Alyssa and Tamara suggested a girls’ night. Said it was what I needed to pull me out of my funk. Said I needed to have some fun. Sticking needles under my fingernails sounds more appealing than mingling with the world. How long will it take for me to want to havefunagain? Another month…six months…a year?
The fog of emptiness clings to me every moment of every day. Will I ever find my way out? Tamara’s sister says it will take time. Says I need to push myself little by little. So, here I am—having girls’ night. I agreed only to dinner. I refuse to go clubbing. That is too big of a step.
During the day, I spend my time with Juliette. She asked me if I’d like to sit with her and watch her work. If it wasn’t for such an amazing opportunity to study her, I would never step foot back at Alessi Fashion. With Finn in London, I have no chance of running into him at the office, and I’ve kept my distance from Hayden and Lucas. It’s hard going into the office and not thinking about Finn. Memories of him are everywhere. I made Tamara and Juliette promise to tell me if he was ever back in New York City so I can stay away.
With Juliette’s encouragement and guidance, I’ve enrolled for the winter semester for fashion school. She also set me up with an internship with Sempre Fashion when my course starts. Finally, my career is heading in the right direction. My dreams are coming true. Well, except for one—Finn.
Tamara clicks her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Harper!”
I have a habit of zoning out lately. I snap back to attention. “Sorry, what were you saying?” Placing my napkin on the table, I leave my meal untouched.
Tamara and Alyssa exchange worried glances. Tamara says, “We finally get you out of the apartment and you are miles away. We hate seeing you like this. What can we do to help?”
“I’m fine,” I lie with a fake smile on my face. Will it convince them? Again, Tamara and Alyssa exchange worried glances. Maybe not. “Will you stop that!”
“What?” Alyssa and Tamara say at the same time.
“Looking at me like I’m going to crack or something.”
Alyssa pushes her empty plate aside. “Well, are you?”
I run my finger along the crease in the tablecloth. “No. I’m not. I’m good. Really, stop worrying.” I’m far from good, but I can’t let them know or they’ll be hovering over me more than they already are. I love them for caring, but sometimes it can be too much.
“If it helps, I’ve heard Finn’s a nightmare to work with in London. I’d say he’s still hurting too,” Tamara says, obviously not believing me when I said I’m fine.
At the sound of his name, my heart shudders. Is he missing me as much as I miss him? Have I made a mistake letting him walk away?
“Is there any chance you two can work things out?” Tamara asks. I had told Tamara and Alyssa the full story. They were shocked and disgusted to learn about Marco Alessi’s deceit and threats.
Giving up on pretending to eat, I push my plate aside. “He never trusted me. Took one look at a photo and assumed the worst. I can’t keep worrying that whatever I do or say, he’ll be wondering if I’m telling the truth.”
Tamara pats her mouth with her napkin and places it on the table. “For years, Finn believed you left him for another man. One older with money coming out of his ears. A powerful man. Then, out of nowhere, you burst back into his life, confusing the hell out of him. Before he even knew the truth about your marriage, he was softening toward you. With all that, he gave you back his heart. If he held on to mistrust…well, his gut was right. You had kept something from him.”
My back stiffens. “I was trying to protect him.”
“I know. I’m sure he realizes that now too.”
