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“Bowie—”
“Not too wild, of course. After all, we’re not in our twenties.”
“But—”
“Ooh, and we can do one of those mystery dinners. I could host it. Maybe I’ll actually get more women because Rae will be hanging out with us more. They’ll just flock to me, because they’ll see you with her and think,damn, I wonder who that fine specimen is standing with that chick.”
“I hate to burst your bubble, but I don’t think you’re gonna get laid just because Rae’s standing there. Besides, I was actually thinking—”
“Yeah,” he hung his head, nodding. “I knew it wouldn’t happen. It’s just…I’ve been so lonely lately. I mean, it’s great being with you, but I’ve always felt on my own. But now that Rae’s moving in with us, it’s like I finally have family in my life. It’s been hard, you know?”
I did know. Bowie’s family was practically non-existent. His parents never met him when he came home on leave, no matter how many times he wrote to them. And he had to write because they never answered his fucking phone calls. And his sister was married to some asshat that dictated her every move. And worse, she refused to leave him, even when Bowie tried to get her out of the situation. That’s why he so willingly stayed with me when he got out. He had no other family that fucking cared about him. And now I was asking him to leave. Fuck, I felt like an asshole.
“Yeah, man. I know,” I finally answered.
He beamed at me. “But that’s all about to change. We’re so fucking lucky.”
I nodded as he dropped his legs to the ground and pushed up from his chair. “Well, I guess I’d better get home and make room for your new lady. Do you want me to clean out the kid’s room? I can just toss it.”
“Uh…” That was something I had planned to do. And tossing the stuff wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
“That’s okay, I’ll leave it for you. Guess I’d better make room in your closet.”
He clapped his hands together and grinned. “This is going to be so awesome. See you later, man.”
“Yeah,” I said to myself as he left the room. Fuck, how was I going to tell Rae? She might not want to live with me after this. I started to sweat at the idea that she might turn me down. Living with another guy wasn’t exactly appealing. But how could I kick Bowie out? He’d been there for me when no one else was.
The door opened and Bowie popped his head back inside. “You’re so fucking easy. I’ll be out by the time you get home,” he said, laughing as he shut the door.
Fuck, that was a close one.
* * *
I’d been feeling shitty all fucking morning. If it weren’t for the drugs, I’d get no sleep, but they were backing off on those too, which I didn’t understand. The pain was only making me ten times crabbier. All I wanted was to get out of this place and go home.
Yeah, I’d probably have a fuck ton of p.t. to get through, but I would blow through that. When I put my mind to something, there was nothing that would stop me.
“Can I get you anything?” Rae asked, sitting in the chair beside me.
“Yeah, you can get the doctor to come in here and tell me when I’m going home. Or maybe some more fucking painkillers.”
“Is the pain that bad?” she asked.
“No, it just tickles,” I said sarcastically.
“Hey!” she snapped. “Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me.”
I avoided repeating the action because I didn’t want to piss her off. I knew I was in a shitty mood, and it was growing by the day. The first few days were filled with sleeping and ignoring what was really going on, but since cutting back on the meds, I was more aware of all the shit going on around me, and I didn’t like what I was seeing.
“I’ll go talk to the doctor,” she said, shoving out of her chair.
I huffed out a sigh and rested back on the pillows. Fuck, I wanted to get out of here. It reminded me of seeing my friends in the hospital, dying or burned…I was damn lucky it had taken me this long to catch a bullet, and I really couldn’t recommend it. It fucking sucked.
I glanced down at my arm in the sling. Fuck, the whole left side of my body was useless. I could maybe get around with crutches with only one arm, but it would take practice.
The door swung open and Rae walked in, followed by the doctor. His expression was one of uncertainty and regret. At first, he wouldn’t look at me, but after a few moments, his eyes finally met mine.
Sadness…for me.
