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“And?”
“I learned about God and what it meant to have a relationship with Him. It turned my life around. Before that, I was angry about what happened. I’d started drinking to numb my feelings. But I discovered there was another way—a better way. I haven’t looked back since.”
“I love a good redemption story.” Even though she wasn’t a believer anymore, she could respect people who found comfort in their faith. Sometimes she even envied them.
Duke turned to her, curiosity flickering in his gaze. “How about you?”
Dread pooled in her gut as she considered what—and how much—to share.
Finally, she licked her lips and started. “My story is like the opposite of yours. I grew up in a religious home. I wouldn’t call my church fundamental, necessarily. But my family was dedicated and at church every time the doors were open. I even helped lead a couple of Bible studies.”
“And then?”
Andi hesitated, wondering exactly how much she wanted to get into this.
It was a tightrope of not wanting to share too much and the desire for connection, for understanding . . . for community.
She glanced at Duke as the tug-of-war battled inside her.
If she opened up . . . then she might start letting Duke inside.
But she’d become an expert at shutting people out.
She nibbled on her bottom lip as she considered how to proceed.
chapterforty-eight
Duke waited,curious about where Andi was going with this. He could see the stories in her eyes and knew there was more to her than being an ice road trucker.
Of course, he’d known that fact from the start. The best investigators could read people, and he’d sensed her secrets.
“But then . . .” Andi’s voice trailed, and she pulled her knees to her chest. “Let’s just say some bad things happened. My life was turned upside down. And I realized that all these years I’d believed in something that didn’t exist.”
“You don’t believe God exists?” He wasn’t sure why that thought surprised him so much, but it did. Andi struck him as someone with wholesome roots and strong morals.
She let out a long breath as if this conversation felt like a burden. “I think God is a concept, a story we tell ourselves as we search for comfort. Religion is a way of trying to keep order in the world. It’s a way we can give people this list of rights and wrongs to keep them in line because if they don’t obey, they have to face the consequences in hell one day.”
“Wow.” His eyebrows shot up. “You really did do a one-eighty.”
She shrugged. “Maybe the scales fell off my eyes.”
“I was the opposite. When I finally realized that I had been living for myself and it was getting me nowhere, that’s when my blinders came off and I felt like I could truly see clearly for the first time.”
Andi looked at him, a strained look in her eyes. “It sounds as if we had two totally different experiences. It’s like two different people looking at the sky, and one person sees the possibilities while the other person sees the limitations.”
They exchanged another look, and Duke wondered if Andi might want to go deeper into this.
If so, he was ready.
Instead, Andi said, “Celeste is really lucky to have someone like you.”
His throat tightened at her unexpected words.
Celeste . . .
How could he be sitting here enjoying this conversation while Celeste could be out there suffering?
Guilt filled him.
