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My focus, my one and only focus, is to help Pierce clean up any residue Reece's words have left behind.
It makes sense now why Pierce never told me the reason for the breakup. It's affected him deeply because he didn't just lose a relationship, he got robbed of a sense of who he was. By that undeserving, smarmy dickhead.
"I'm blown away that you served it to him the way you did. The look on his face was priceless. Thank you."
"There's no need to thank me," I assure him because there really isn't. Sticking up for a friend is friendship 101. "But I am slightly offended you didn't think I had it in me to cut an asshole down like that."
"Oh, I know you had it in you. It's just…"
He stops talking. I glance over at him. He's looking down, shoulders deflated. I hate seeing him this way. He's usually so self-assured, so confident. Overly so.
The air in the car turns heavy.
"He hurt me so badly." Pierce speaks so quietly I barely hear him over the air-con. "I felt like I'd done something wrong when all I did was be honest."
If that's the kind of shit Reece is spouting now, I can't even imagine how he reacted when Pierce first told him.
"You did nothing wrong. You know that, right?"
"I do." He's tentative, and I sense there's more coming. "Butknowingandfeelingare sometimes two different things."
"Yeah. I get that. Like, Iknowthat I'm better than you, but sometimes Ifeelthat I'm more attractive than you, too."
Another chuckle breaks past his lips. "Shut up, Fleabag."
Our eyes briefly meet, and my heart leaps wildly in my chest. I like making him happy, even if it's only a small thing, a brief reprieve from the heaviness he's feeling.
"The whole thing's a mess," Pierce says with a sigh.
"It is." I turn onto my street. "You don't still have feelings for the guy, do you?"
I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I figure it's best to get it confirmed.
"Fuck no," Pierce scoffs. "I sat there at lunch thinking what the hell did I ever see in him? It's not Reece, it's what he said. How he made me feel when I told him I thought I was bi. He made it out that I had somehow deceived him and implied that I would cheat when I had no intention of ending the relationship or ever cheating on him. That's not something I would ever do. I just learned something new about myself, and I wanted to share it with my partner. You know?"
"Actually I do." I pull into the basement parking lot of my apartment. "Come upstairs. We need to talk."
We're silent in the elevator, which gives me a chance to organize my thoughts, decide on how to approach this.
We go inside, I grab us some beers, and we head out onto my balcony. It's an okay view, with some occasional water glimpses in between the buildings. It's the best I can afford, being aservice workerand all.
We sip our beers quietly for a few minutes before I ask, "How come you never told me?"
"About why Reece broke up with me?"
I nod.
"I guess I was ashamed. Even though I know he's wrong in what he thinks, it hurt me. Hearing him say the same shit at lunch—it still affects me. The words people use really do matter."
"I agree. They do."
"I trust you. If there's anyone in the world I would've told, it would've been you. I just wasn't ready."
"And that's okay," I say with a warm smile. "This is your journey. It happens on your schedule."
Pierce and I may be savage with each other most of the time, but I love that we're able to have occasional soft moments like this, too.
Not too often, though. I have a reputation to maintain.
