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"And what lesson is that?" I asked.
"You're worthy of love, Nix," she whispered. I wasn't expecting her to say that. "You aren't defined by your mistakes. You aren't chained to decisions you've made. I've had a lot of time to think about you over the years. I used to think you never settled down because it just wasn't who you were. But I realized that it had nothing to do with wanting to explore your options, and everything to do with you not feeling like you deserved to be happy. I don't know why I was lucky enough to break past that wall with you, but I think you need to give Grace and Alessandro an honest try. I think you need to let go of your hero complex. Your insecurities. You don't have to worry about the Ringleaders ever again. So moving forward, the only thing holding you back, is you."
She was right. I knew she was right. "I want to be the old me again."
"The old you wasn't any happier than the person I'm looking at right now," Sunshine whispered before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on my jaw. I closed my eyes and savored her tenderness. Sunshine had one of those open hearts that invited you in. People didn't understand her. They saw a broken woman. A weak woman. I saw someone that overcame.
"I was happy with you," I promised.
"Can't put your happiness all on one person. They're bound to disappoint you, Nix. I'm just glad Alessandro and Grace started finding happiness in each other. It means you have more of a chance at making this throuple work."
I laughed. "A throuple?"
"It's a legitimate term. I'm pretty sure there are even Facebook support groups for it."
"Is it normal to feel like no time has passed?" I asked.
"Absolutely."
"I'm scared this isn't real. I'm scared everything is going to crash around us. The Ringleaders—"
"Are a distant memory. I promise," she whispered.
I let out a shaky breath. Okay. I had my Sunshine back.
Now, I just had to get Alessandro and Grace.
Chapter Twenty- Two
Alessandro
Grace was lounging by the pool, looking the most like herself since we left for this little adventure. She wore a sleek, white one-piece bathing suit that clung to her freckled skin. She'd spent all morning scrubbing the temporary dye out of her hair and trimmed her bangs to give her a more chic appearance. The Bullets were swimming and fussing over what theme they wanted for the baby room.
I had just sent an encrypted message to John and Kaydence letting them know where we were. They sent me back a photo of them riding a boat and smiling. I was thankful this endeavor didn't ruin their life.
Two days had passed since that time at the motel. We traveled to the safe house. We got Nix. We waited for him to wake up.
I felt at peace.
But also not at peace.
Nix and Sunshine had been sitting in his room for a while now. I knew they needed time to reconnect. This journey started with their friendship, and it needed to end with it, too. Now that I had Grace, I understood their bond. It was precious. It was sacred. It needed just as much time, care, and devotion as any romantic interest or entanglement. "You're turning pink," I said to Grace while handing her some sunblock.
"Can you rub it in?"
The Bullets splashed one another in the pool and laughed loudly, completely at ease, but I tuned them out while squirting sunblock into my palm. I got off my lounge chair to rub it into her soft skin. Grace was rolled over on her stomach and humming to herself. "Are you nervous?" I asked before massaging her shoulders.
"He left," was all she said in response.
Left, indeed. Doubt and insecurities were a fickle thing.
"I'm quite angry with him," I whispered before running my hands over her thighs. She was warm and tense. I pressed on her sore muscles as I worked the sunblock in. "If I wasn't certain that Sunshine was ripping him a new one right now, I would absolutely spank his ass."
"Can you do that anyway? I'd pay good money to see Nix get his ass spanked. Bend him over your knee and everything," Grace replied with a low laugh.
"I wouldn't be against that," Nix's voice said.
The splashing stopped in the pool. Grace went completely still. I wasn't even sure she was breathing. I looked up and smiled at the beautiful man standing over us. The sunlight cast a halo around his head. He wore board shorts, and his toned abs were on full display.
