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Taking my time.
I love it when things just work out, but it doesn’t happen very often.
Bangs – I just wish I didn’t look like my face was a window surrounded by curtains when I have them.
Snow.
Christmas.
The list went on. She managed at least forty items.
“You’ve done so well. Any time you want to, you can add to it, and read through it when you need reminding of all the good stuff in life.”
“There’s one more thing,” she said, sticking out her tongue again.
I love writing this list.
At the end of the sentence, she drew a little heart.
“Now, how do you feel about writing down what you don’t like? I can leave you alone to do it if you feel embarrassed.”
“No! Don’t leave, Daddy. I like being with you.”
“I like being with you, babygirl. Okay, well how about this? How about we write a list together of the things that Om Baby doesn’t like?”
“Hmmm. That could work.”
“You can dictate, and I’ll write them down.”
“Okay,” she said, her eyes brightening. “Let’s try.”
“So, what’s the first thing?”
Esme handed Rainer the pen, her fingers accidentally brushing his as she did so.
“First, put, ‘Om Baby hates it when she can’t hold a yoga pose.’”
“Perfect.”
CHAPTER NINE
Thelistthattheywrote that day didn’t stay in the notebook for long. Om Baby’s fears and dislikes became a constant touchstone for the two of them, and as they worked together to regress Esme, they talked often about fears.
Rainer bought a big blackboard, and chalked the list up in large, bright letters, then hung it from the wall. He wanted Esme to see that the more you faced your fears, the less scary they became.
“Om Baby?” Rainer asked the stuffie, a couple days after they came up with the initial list.
“Yes, Daddy Rainer?” Om Baby answered, using Esme — who she called her secretary — to communicate with him.
“One of the things on your list of fears is: people watching you.”
“Om Baby doesn’t like that,” Om Baby replied.
“Let’s imagine for a moment that people were watching you right now.”
It was the part of the day when Esme was doing her daily yoga practice. Right now, she was in tree pose — Rainer was very quickly getting to learn the various stances and poses as Esme loved to explain what her body was doing while she practiced. She stood on one foot, and, with her other leg bent, she pressed the foot into her inner thigh. Her hands reached above her head, stretching up to the sky.
“Scary,” Om Baby said.
