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First, she sat at the kitchen table. She took out a pad of paper, and, as the video played, she took notes. Like a good girl. It was the most writing she’d done since school, and it felt weirdly soothing. Honestly, all this self-care did. It was like a vacation into someone else’s life. A vacation into a world in which she deserved to look after herself.
It felt good.
After she’d finished making the notes, and she’d watched the videos twice, it was time for yoga. She took a full hour, working through the kind of routine she’d love to be taught, giving her whole body a workout.
By the time Rainer was due back, Esme felt like a different person. She felt proud of herself.
Esme could feel a shift. She was taking control of her life. All it had needed was a Daddy to controlher.
It felt good to be a good girl, and when Rainer came home, she was excited to show her what she’d done.
But there was a little part of her that even more excited to think what might be happening if she’d been abad girlthat day.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Fourdays,andnotso much as a kiss.
“Four days?” Kelly looked at her, indignant. “Girl, that’s a long time to be living with someone without even kissing them.”
Esme was desperate to take things further with Rainer, but she didn’t want to jeopardize anything by pushing her luck. “I know, I know. It sounds like he’s not into me, but—”
“He’s into you. No question.”
“How do you know?”
“Um, have you seen yourself lately? You’re a gosh-darn s-bomb!”
“Did you seriously just say s-bomb, instead of sex-bomb? Are you sure you’re not a Little, Kelly?”
Kelly looked deeply embarrassed. “You know I don’t like to cuss.”
They were sitting together in a coffee shop in Brooklyn. Rainer had worked time into Esme’s schedule for socializing. He was very clear that he thought a full social life was crucial for a Little.
It was good to see Kelly. Even though Esme was loving spending time with Rainer, it was good to just talk to someone who wasn’t into either the age play lifestyle or the world of Harley Davidsons. Sometimes you needed a friend to help you see the world more clearly.
“But sex isn’t even a cuss word! It’s like, a science word. It’s technical vocabulary.”
Kelly took a sip of her drink. Obviously, she was just drinking an unsweetened black coffee. No creamer. No calories. But she wasn’t doing it to deny herself – Kelly just seemed to genuinely prefer her food and drink healthy.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you. How do you know if you’re a Little?”
Interesting. Very interesting.
“Hmm, that’s a hard question to answer. I’ve only got my own experience to go off. I didn’t reallyknowfor a long time.”
“You didn’t know when you were a kid?”
Esme shook her head. “When I was a kid, I was just a kid.” She realized it sounded a little dumb, but it was the only way she could put it.
She thought back to those days. The endless summers, playing with her sister. The love of her parents. The joy of feeling as though life could only ever get better, bigger, more full of experience.
All of that had changed in a moment.
“It was later. After… something bad happened. I just knew that I had unfinished business with my childhood.”
There was sympathy in Kelly’s eyes. She knew that Esme had been through a very tough time, even if she didn’t know the exact details of her experience. Esme hadn’t really opened up to anyone about it.
“That makes sense.”
