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“Like how people see me, especially… Trent.”
Millie sighed, leaning back against the swing. “Well, darling, only you can know if that’s a risk worth taking.”
Patti’s heart ached at the thought, feeling torn between her desire to protect the ranch and the animals and her fear of losing the identity she’d built for herself. She wished she was brave, like Millie. She was living thousands of miles from home and had re-invented herself. She’d gone from a pampered member of the British aristocracy to a grubby, down-and-dirty stablehand in a Montana ranch. Perhaps, though, she always was that person. She just had to brave and accept it.
“Maybe you’re right,” Patti admitted after a moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But what if helping now is the wrong choice? What if I’m just… making another mistake?”
“Sweetheart, we all make mistakes,” Millie said softly, offering Patti a reassuring smile. “God knows I’ve made more than my fair share.” She gave a wry, slightly painful smile. “But sometimes, you just have to trust yourself and take a leap of faith.”
A leap of faith. What would that look like? And what if she took that leap and never, ever landed? What if she kept falling and falling forever, lost and alone and completely, utterly hopeless?
CHAPTER FIVE
Guiltisarattlesnake.
It lies silent and unseen until you unwittingly step too close to its hiding place. Then, it strikes, with an unexpected, piercing bite, injecting its potent venom into your unsuspecting peace of mind.
But this rattlesnake is different. It doesn’t offer the courtesy of a warning sound before it strikes. Its attack is silent, catching you off guard in your moments of quiet reflection. It’s only when you feel the weight of its presence that you realize the depth of the wound it has inflicted.
Trent wiped his brow. So many cows. So many temperatures to take. And only one goddamn rectal thermometer on the whole ranch.
He looked at the herd, packed into the barn overnight so that he could examine them all. Duke and Chuck had been irritated about having to give up a whole morning to wrangle them all in, but Takis—after Trent had explained the severity of the situation—had insisted.
This would be going a lot quicker if he didn’t keep getting distracted by guilt. The memory of Patti’s hurt expression haunted him, seeping into the corners of his mind like a stubborn stain. He’d been short with her, and he knew it. As he studied the animals before him, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d pushed away the one person who might truly understand the weight on his shoulders.
“Bring the next one, boys,” Trent said.
Taking a cow’s temperature isn’t particularly easy or pleasant for anyone involved. The cow has to be securely restrained for everyone’s safety. Chuck and Duke had the pleasure of handling that job.
“Every time I see one of these girls in the lockup, it makes me think of the rodeo,” Duke said, a resigned look on his face.
Every time I see, hear, or think of literally anything I think of Patti.
Why had he spoken to her like that? Why had he made her feel so small, so sad?
“She’s ready,” Duke said, fastening the restraining bolt.
Trent did what he had to and looked at the temperature. “Damn,” he muttered to himself. Raised temperature. That was five cows now.
“Another one?” Chuck asked, concern obvious in his voice.
“Yup. There’s no getting around it. We need lab results.”
“Sunrise is no better.”
Trent nodded. He had a feeling, a gnawing, terrible feeling, that this wasn’t a problem that was simply going to go away.
“Lulu, too.”
Patti had to worrying about her hamster. He was a prize asshole for not chasing after her and apologizing. For not looking after her. She was a damn Little, as well as everything else. And he’d made her feel like shit.
It had to be for the best, though. If they worked together… something would come out. He’d blurt out the way he felt for her. And that would be a disaster.
“You seem preoccupied,” Duke said, eyeing his younger brother with concern. “Somethin’ on your mind?”
“Preoccupied?” Trent said. “Three syllables, Duke?”
“Touched a nerve, did I?” Duke asked, not bothered by Trent’s teasing.
