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She’d been leading an exercise class just the other day. She’d been helping Littles learn how to play with the hamsters. Was she back to square one? Had all the good effects of being at Littlecreek been washed away by Trent’s rejection?
Deep down though, she knew that the problem wasn’t Trent.
The problem was with how she felt about herself.
A failure. A fuck-up. A disaster, waiting to happen.
“Let’s not worry about the game right now,” Millie suggested gently, changing the subject. “I can choose if you like?”
“You know,” Anita said, “I asked Takis to buy some new board games the other day.” She was obviously trying to change the subject. Patti was grateful.
“It’s about time,” Millie said.
“R-right,” Patti agreed, trying to pull herself together.
“But he said no. Said that we’d have to make do with what we have. That he’s looking at tightening budgets.”
“You know,” Millie said, “all this talk of budgeting is kinda killing my Little Space vibe.”
Patti and Anita laughed together.
“I don’t want budgets!” Anita said. “I want budgies!”
“We have some,” Patti said. “In the petting zoo. Budgies are so cute. They’re like, flying colors!”
“That’s so cute!” Anita said. “I might use that in a book. Is that OK?”
“I’d be honored.”
When she thought of the petting zoo, she couldn’t help but think of Lulu. Lulu was still with Trent.
“You thinking about Trent again?” Anita asked.
“Actually,” Patti said, “I’m thinking about a hamster.”
For some reason, this caused Millie and Anita to roll about with laughter, and before too long, Patti was laughing too.
As they continued to play, and Patti slowly found her center, she couldn’t help but think about Takis, and about money.
Was the ranch in some kind of financial trouble? For real? She’d always thought that Takis’ pockets were virtually limitless. Maybe something had happened.
Of course, there was a solution. She thought of it instantly. But there was no way that she could ever suggest it to anyone. There might be no way that she’d ever share an idea with anyone, ever again.
It had been a long day of play, and it had helped somewhat. There had been times when Patti had managed to distract herself from her troubles, when she’d felt calm and content. It was a gift to feel happy, even if only for a moment.
After dinner, Patti sat alone on the porch swing at the ranch house, her gaze fixed on the distant horizon where the sun dipped low in the sky, casting a fiery glow over the ranch. The cool breeze rustled through her hair, carrying with it the scent of hay and horses, reminding her of everything she’d come to cherish about this place. Yet inside her, a storm brewed – a tempest of emotions too fierce to tame.
“Mind if I join you?” Millie’s gentle voice cut through Patti’s contemplation, and she scooted over to make room for her friend.
“Of course not,” Patti replied, managing a weak smile that barely masked her inner turmoil.
“Still thinkin’ about Trent, huh?” Millie prodded gently, rubbing Patti’s back in a comforting gesture. “And the animals…”
Patti bit her lip, her mind racing as she considered her options.
“Millie,” she whispered hesitantly, “what if… what if there was a way to help the ranch, but it meant risking everything?”
“Everything like what?” Millie asked, her brow furrowing in concern.
