AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Where are you going?” Trent called after her softly.
“The nursery. My… happy place.”
*
Patti’s childhood had been idyllic. She’d grown up with loving parents, and an older sister who enjoyed doting on her lil’ Patticake.
Her memory of those days was crystal clear. Little details stuck in her mind: the color of her nursery walls (dusky peach), the smell of her bedsheets, and the sound of her mama as she sang “You are my sunshine” until Patti fell asleep.
It was that feeling she needed right now. Unconditional love.
The nursery at Littlecreek Ranch was nothing like her nursery growing up, not really. But still, it was a safe, happy place where—normally—she could shed the weight of the world and slip into Little Space.
But not today.
With a heavy heart, Patti sank down onto the oversized beanbag chair in the corner, her fingers absently picking at the soft fabric as she replayed the day’s events in her mind. If only she hadn’t asked for that date with Trent. If only she hadn’t let herself become a distraction. Why did she always have to push things too far?
“Should’ve known better,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut as memories of her time at Alpha surfaced. The same impulsiveness that had cost her company and her boss millions of dollars reared its ugly head once more, and now, because she couldn’t keep her desires in check, another life had been lost.
Past performance is no guarantee of future results.
Her old boss, Brandon Grouse, had drilled those words into her. But still, it hadn’t helped. She would have done well to remember those words today.
Past performance is no guarantee of future results.
“Hey, Patti.” A gentle voice pulled her from her thoughts, and she looked up to see Anita standing in the doorway, concern etched on her face. “How are you holding up?”
Patti forced a smile, trying to sound breezy even as her chest tightened. “Oh, you know... just taking some time to think.”
Anita nodded, obviously not entirely convinced but respecting her friend’s privacy. “Well, if you need anything, we’re all here for you.”
“Thanks, Anita,” Patti whispered, watching as she retreated down the hallway and left her alone with her thoughts once more.
As much as she tried to focus on the cheerful surroundings of the nursery, the image of Thunder lying lifeless in the stable haunted her. And worst of all, she couldn’t help but feel responsible for it all.
She was going through the motions. Coloring. Squeezing stuffies. Rummaging in boxes of board games. It felt like her mind was somewhere else. Somewhere far away. Somewhere dark.
When she felt a soft hand on her shoulder, Patti almost didn’t react.
“Hi, Patti.” It was Nanny Clara. Smiling softly, as always. “I heard about Thunder... I’m so sorry.”
“Me too,” Patti replied in a small voice, her shame making her very, very little. “It’s all my fault, Nanny. It’s ‘cos of me.”
“Sweetie, you can’t blame yourself for what happened,” Nanny Clara said gently, kneeling down beside Patti. “Accidents happen, and we can’t control everything.”
“But I asked Daddy for a date. I kind of begged him for it actually.” She paused. “We weren’t there, Nanny. If we had been, Daddy Trent could have been there to help Thunder,” Patti insisted, tears welling up in her eyes. “I made a mistake.”
“Darling, we all make mistakes,” Nanny Clara reassured her, wiping away a tear from Patti’s cheek. “The important thing is to learn from them and try to do better next time. But to me, that doesn’t sound like a mistake. You weren’t to know. We can’t control illness, sweetheart, as much as we might want to.”
“I know. Deep down I know. But I can’t convince my heart.”
“Is there anything I can do for you, Patti?” Nanny Clara asked, rubbing her back gently. “Anything you need to help you feel better?”
She wanted to make it all go away. Make her worries about her relationship with Trent and the issues with the farm just leave her alone. “Can I have a pacifier, please?” Patti requested, her voice trembling slightly. She’d never used a pacifier as an adult. Maybe it would help. She needed something, she just didn’t know what.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Nanny Clara said, getting up and retrieving a sterilized pink and white one from a nearby shelf. “Here you go.” She handed it to Patti, who took it gratefully and placed it in her mouth. The sensation provided a small measure of comfort amidst the storm of emotions she was experiencing.
Patti snuggled up to Clara, trying to block everything out.
