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A rainbow forms right in front of us. I gaze at it with a kind of wonder I haven't experienced since I was a little girl. The full rainbow has colors brighter than any I've seen before, and when a white bird flies by, I get a lump in my throat. It's just that beautiful.
"Look, Nessa, it's a double rainbow now."
Craig's words make me sit up straighter in my swing seat and search for what he saw. But he's a little ways ahead of me. Maybe I'm not in the right position.
He waves to me. "Come on, slide down here. You'll miss the double rainbow if you don't hurry."
I release my hold on my line and slide down toward Craig. He grabs my arm as I'm about to glide right past him. I grip my line with both hands and stare at the gorgeous double rainbow in front of me. I've never seen anything like it. The colors are so vivid, and it feels like I could reach out and touch it.
Craig pulls me closer and whispers into my ear, "Do you think that's some kind of sign? A double rainbow while we're both hanging here."
I hear what he said, but I can't think about what it means. My focus remains bound to the bright, arching lines in the air while they gradually fade away. Once the rainbow has vanished, I turn to Craig. "What did you say?"
"Maybe that was a sign, something to show us the way."
"The way to what?"
"Back to each other."
My throat tightens. I stare at him for several seconds, and though I want to tell him that's bullshit, I can't make my vocal cords work. So, I take the coward's way out. I release my hand, letting my trolley rush down the line away from him.
He catches up to me but doesn't try to have a conversation. Though he does glance at me and keeps pace with me, my ex-husband seems to have given up on the idea that a rainbow is some kind of miracle that will heal our relationship.
Whether I want to heal it, I still don't know.
I hear whoops and shrieks, and when I glance in that direction, I see Aspen and Zach hurtling down their lines. They're having a great time. I was too until Craig said that thing about the rainbow. I can't even think the words anymore. My brain refuses to let me. Or maybe it's my heart urging me to forget.
Why has Craig never chastised me for moving out of our house before he filed for divorce?
The thought stops me. I grab onto my zip line and literally stop now, staring down at the forest floor, so far below me.
Craig halts his line beside me. "Vanessa, what's wrong?"
I can't respond. My mind has completely frozen up, like a computer with a glitch. My gaze remains aimed down at the ground, but I don't see anything. My thoughts have retreated so deeply that I've become immobilized.
"Wake up, Vanessa." Craig grabs my line and shakes it. "Wake up. Are you having a panic attack?"
I manage to shake my head. My throat is still too tight for me to speak. But my lips begin to tremble, my eyes burn, and I know that any second I'll start to cry. This is insane. I can't hang here on a zip line while sobbing.
Craig takes hold of my seat and pulls me closer. "Snap out of it, Vanessa."
All I can do is shake my head.
"I can't leave you like this. But I can't think of anything to do to help you except for..."
He moves his hand to my nape, tips my head back, and kisses me. His lips feel warm and soft, and they taste like mint lip balm. My eyes drift closed. My entire body slackens, though I manage to keep hold of my line so I won't start sliding down it again. Everything inside me turns warm and liquid. I lean into him while he slips his tongue between my lips to tease me with light flicks. I moan and let my jaw fall open just enough that I can thrust my tongue more deeply into his mouth, and we begin to ravish each other with slow, sensual movements.
Then he pulls away. "Feeling better?"
I blink several times quickly. Though I'd love to deny it, I need to tell him the truth. "Yes, I feel much better. Thank you."
"Why did you go catatonic?"
"Not sure." Of course I'm sure. I turned into a high-flying vegetable because I remembered the fact I had tried to forget for so long, the truth that my mind urged me to trap inside the deepest dungeon inside me. "That's a lie. I do know why I froze. It's because I was the one who walked out on our marriage, and I've felt guilty for blaming you. Sure, you filed for divorce, but I started the ball rolling."
He cups my cheek. "We're both to blame. What we need to do is talk about all of that so we can find out how to repair our relationship. I still love you, Nessa. I always will love you."
I can't speak, but only because I don't want to give him false hope. At least I'm not catatonic anymore.
