AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She said the same about the two of us.Being with you isn’t really a choice. It’s fate.
Then I went and ruined everything.
I kiss her head and rub her back. Try to show her how much I love her—forever, always. “Sit with me. There’s something I need to tell you.”
She lets me lead her and falls onto the couch with a heavy sigh.
I sit facing her and try to steady my pulse, but it feels like someone’s in my chest, having a boxing match with my ribs. “The Barrel isn’t being evicted from the premises,” I say, taking her hands. “I put in an offer on the building tonight. Francisca accepted it, so no one’s tossing you out. There won’t be a brewpub. You and Larkin get to work together and turn the Barrel House into the coolest bar north of the equator.”
Jolene doesn’t whoop and cheer. She tilts her head and peers at me more intently. “What do you mean, you bought the building? Since when do you have that kind of cash? And why would you spend it on the Barrel?”
“I might not have gone into finance like I toyed with in college, but I’m good with money and numbers, and I don’t live large. I knew the money would come in handy one day, and it has. I bought the building foryou, Jo. So you can live out your dreams.”
Her frown deepens. She gives her head a small shake. “But…how?”
“I spoke to Francisca, like I said. Offered her more than the other buyer.”
“No, Cal.” She pulls her hands out of mine and scoots back on the couch. “How’d you know this was happening? The only person I told was Larkin. If there was gossip about this beforehand, believe me, it would’ve trickled into the bar. Someone would’ve said something. So…how? How did you know the building was sold if I didn’t tell you?”
Here it is. The moment I destroy Jolene’s belief in fate and us. There’s no softening what I’ve done. She already sees right through me and has created space between us on the couch. She senses that I did something unforgivable.
“I know,” I say roughly, “because I arranged the sale of the building in the first place.”
She sucks in a shocked breath and clutches her chest. “What?”
“You were so unhappy there. So stressed. When we talked about it, I got the feeling you were keeping it out of obligation to your aunt. Not because you truly wanted the bar. Then the night you fell and hit your head, we were in bed and you said the bar drains you. Yousaidyou wished it was out of your hands. And I wanted to help. Give you an easy out so you could finally chase your dreams, and I was really messed up from thinking we’d never be together. I thought helping you would make it hurt less.”
“But you didn’t ask me if that was what I truly wanted. You didn’t say a damn thing to me about any of this.”
“I know. What I did was—”
“No,” she says, cutting me off. Angry tears shimmer in her eyes. “This is not okay, Cal. You had no right to interfere in my life that way, or at all. I told you I’m not a fairy-tale character who needs saving. I’m a real live person who has to fuck up on her own to learn. Ornotlearn. The point is that this is my life, and your meddling almost ruined my livelihood. And you promised you’d talk to me. You said if you had the urge to be a fixer and jump in without my consent, you’d tell me instead of acting rashly.”
“I know, and I meant every word. I put the sale in motion before that talk. Right after, I tried to pull the plug on the deal, but things were already in play.”
“And instead of coming to me and talking it out, you spent your hard-earned money on a building you had no intention of buying.”
So this is what suffocating feels like. Being buried alive by your irrevocable actions. “I did it foryou, Jo,” I say, desperate. “I bought it for you.”
“No, you didn’t. You bought it so I’d forgive you. You bought it to absolve yourself of your guilt. You thought buying it would fix what you broke between us, which, in case you’re wondering, was trust.” She stands and sways slightly. She puts her hand on the couch arm to steady herself while more tears track her cheeks. “I need to go. I can’t be here right now.”
A whoosh roars in my ears. My heart has officially ruptured, but I can’t let her go like this.
“You’re right,” I say as she grabs her purse, readying to leave our home. To leaveme. I stand and take a step toward her. “I should’ve admitted what I’d done when we were in the tree house. Come clean and asked you what you wanted with the bar. My only excuse is I was scared, because I love you, Jolene. So much it’s hard to breathe when we’re apart. I was worried I’d lose you, which is a shitty excuse for my behavior. But I want to be clear about one thing.”
I walk until I’m right beside her, hovering over her. “Part of the reason I help people is because it gives me a sense of control. It’s my nature to look out for others, but after what my father put us through, it became more of a weakness. An urgent need to protect those I love so I wouldn’t have to watch that kind of suffering again. But I didn’t buy that building to ease my guilt. I didn’t buy it so you’d forgive me. My actions broke something between us. I know that now. Knew that when I went to Francisca today. This wasn’t a last-ditch effort to make amends. I bought the building because I want you to be happy, even if it’s without me.”
She covers her mouth and hunches, hiding her face from me. Then she’s moving, walking so quickly out the door she stumbles into a jog. I lurch after her and want to scream,Stop! Please don’t go.But I have no right to ask her to stay.
I stand on my front steps, watching her drive away, as a wave of despair washes over me.
chapterforty-three
Jolene
“I don’t understand,” Larkin says, staring at me like I have six arms and four heads. Maybe I also look like a woman who has an actual beating heart. “How did we get the bar back after losing it, like, five hours ago?”
I’m standing in her doorway, unsure how I haven’t sunken to the floor and landed on my butt. “Callahan bought the building from Francisca,afterhe schemed behind my back to sell the building and have me evicted.”
