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His laser beams become extra glary. “What do you mean, you broke us up?”
“Before WITSEC, I was jealous and started that rumor about you and Larkin Gray.”
He shifts back in his seat, blinks so slowly he looks like a confused robot. “You’re the one who told me to take Larkin home that night. Said she didn’t have another ride.”
“I did.”
His next blinks are faster. Angry pops of his eyelids. “So…what? You planned it all? Put that whole fucking mess in motion?”
That’s me. Traitor with a capital T. I don’t look down. I let him see how gutted and sorry I am. “I did, yes.”
“Why the fuck would you do that, Callahan?”
“Because…” There’s no stopping this runaway train. The conductor filtering my words has officially jumped out of the moving vehicle. “I was in love with Jo,” I say quietly.
“Jesus Christ.” Jake tears his eyes away from mine and glares at the windows. He looks stuck in his head, like he’s replaying the memories of that fateful night—me nudging him to take Larkin home, telling him I’d see to Jolene, while I planned to weasel my way into the cracks I’d created and make Jolene mine. Except I didn’t weasel far. I was too devastated by the damage I’d caused to do anything but cut Jo out of my life.
“I’m sorry, Jake. You have every right to be furious with me. Hate me. What I did was horrible.”
He’s back to staring, but this is no staring I know. His lips are trembling.Incensedtrembling—like his emotions are too volatile to keep still. “You have no idea what you did, Callahan.”
“Trust me, I do.” But his voice has a scary edge I’ve never heard.
“No.” He plants his elbows on the table, practically hissing. “You don’t know, Cal. You have no fucking clue what you caused.”
My hands shake with remorse. I squeeze them into fists, try to swallow.
“I asked you,” he goes on, voice hard as nails. “Made sure I asked if it was okay if I took her out. Thought you maybe liked her,so I asked. You said it was fine.”
I shrug, helpless and nauseated. “I was insecure. Didn’t think she liked me back. I should’ve spoken up then, but I fucked up instead.”
“And now?” His jaw bunches into knots. “Do you still have feelings for her now?”
We’re well past laser beams. He’s a high-powered telescope peering into my soul, searching for my secrets. I squeeze my fists tighter. The action doesn’t help my shaking. Lennon’s advice stabs at me too.Take control of your life. Finally go after what you want.
An avalanche of turmoil starts, punctuated by this morning’s memories—Jolene’s mouth on mine, her fingers, hungry and insistent, digging into my back. The mind-bending snap of desire when I settled between her thighs.
Jolene’s quiet,If I was ruined for other men before, I’m destroyed now.
Ominous tingling overtakes my neck and scalp. The cracks in me widen, all my secrets clamoring to get out. I look at Jake, my selfless brother who’s taken care of me and our family, and I utter the worst words known to man. “Yes, I still have feelings for Jo.”
He flinches, like he’s been punched. “For how long?”
“I don’t know.”
Fire shoots from his eyes. “How long, Cal?”
I try to find saliva. There’s nothing left. No way to swallow the truth I’ve unleashed, and I’m suddenly mad. Furious at myself for leading us down this path. I deserve every bit of Jake’s fury. “Since the first day I met her, okay? I was in love with her back then, was torn up over her during WITSEC, and have been sick with wanting her since I came back. And I kissed her this morning. So there’s that too. I’m a fucking asshole. A shitty brother. I promised I’d help you win her back, and all I’ve done is lie and hurt you both.”
Puking up a lung is probably a thing. It’s on the verge of happening as I stare at Jake’s reddening face, the tight press of his lips as he tries not to erupt. He’s internally erupting, though.
Bulging eyes. Pumping chest. Purpling skin.
The bell above the door jingles. I glance that way—anywhere but at my brother, whom I’ve irreparably hurt—and guess who just walked in? Jolene and Larkin. Because this moment isn’t calamitous enough. They’re probably here to grab a delicious coffee in this delightful shop, clueless to the devastation I just caused. If they knew what I orchestrated all those years ago, they’d hate me too.
Jake makes a pained sound that ups my torture. The sight of Jo is no doubt driving my stake further into his heart. Also? My traitorous body decides it’s a good time to ping to life.
Needy lips.
